Making affirmations work

Affirmations got you down? Wait, aren't they supposed to do the opposite?

Ideally, affirming what you want to have happen now or in the future can be a powerful way to turn a situation around. In theory, and sometimes in practice, it works and makes you feel better in the process. Great, right? Sure, when it works.

Sometimes the opposite happens. You question how you can tell yourself something that doesn't feel true. You start arguing with yourself about what "reality" is. You then get angry and have a knock down drag out fight with those dang affirmations, supposedly helping you, yeah, whatever. Sound familiar?

Fret no more, here's a few ways to make affirmations works:

Sing along
Find an uplifting song and let your inner diva join the party. With music, you feel it. That's what matters. You can tell yourself anything in the world, good, bad, doesn't matter. The real importance lies in whether you believe it or not. Put movement to it and then you're really in the game.

Here's what happens: As creatures of habit, we get unconsciously locked into ways of (re)acting to life - in how we move, talk, think, eat, etc. When you move, sing, say words that you normally don't (like the words of a song) it interrupts the pattern. In that moment, you have created a new path, new choice, and freedom for yourself. Do it often and watch your life begin to shift. This is one of my new favorite songs to sing along to:

She is a Goddess. The video for this song (which wouldn't let me embed) is so worthwhile, especially at the end. See it here. Other favorite sing alongs include this, this and this.

Be willing to believe

Though you may not believe whatever you are affirming at the time, let yourself be willing to believe it. Put "I'm willing to" in front of every affirmation you can think of or read about. "I'm willing to feel forgiveness," "I'm willing to see how easy change can be," "I'm willing to trust/take action/know that more money is coming in." 

Look for the good changes that have happened

What does that have to do with now? Often people get stuck in "I can't do that," "It won't work," "Maybe, later." Change can feel scary. Yet, when you start to see that you have changed many times over the course of your life - and that your life turned out just fine as a result of that change - it helps ease and affirm the change of the moment. Acknowledging the facts, "It has worked" leads the way to "It can work," which then turns into actually seeing that "It is working."

Bottom line:

Affirmations are but one tool to help you see life from a different perspective. Louise Hay, a pioneer of affirmations, reminds us that we are affirming all the time. Affirmations are not new age hype. It's what we do on a daily basis. When we think, we are affirming what we don't want as much as what we do want. That, in turn, has an impact on our health and well-being (touched on in this post). When you realize that you are already doing this, it makes it easier to choose more wisely what we think, feel, and pay attention to.

What are you affirming in your life right now?

Comments

[Matt - mmWine]

Thank you for sharing this. Affirmations are something that people don't do often enough. We're usually so focused on fixing the negative, we forget to affirm the positive.

As for singing, whether affirmations or a favorite song, I find that it almost always improves my mood and mind set. While my co-workers dont always appreciate it, I find it makes me much more agreeable :)

Thank you for help on focusing on the positive!

[LaSandra Hunt]

Yes, affirm sounds a lot like confirm.

it is true, what we say or think can be.

think of all the big accomplishments by pioneers long ago that seem like small things in todays world.

they belived and so must we.

this sometimes seems like hocus pocus but your idea about putting "I'm willing to" is a very doable start to changing the way we think.

I am willing to see myself live comfortably in a new archstone apartment in San Mateo. I am willing to...

how often do we not entertain the possibilities? too often.

Nessa thank you for your words of inpiration.

LaSanadra

[Duff]

Another good strategy is to use affirmations to draw out objections. Appreciate the objections, because they are the source of potentially unmet needs. Find ways to really discover what's behind the objection and meet the need. Then the affirmation should either work as it originally was stated, or will be restated based on the objections that surfaced.

Being willing to believe for example is a response to the objection "but I don't believe this."

[Vanessa Smith, MA, CLC]

Thanks for all these great comments. So true about the objections and needs, which people often don't realize is what's underneath the surface until they articulate them.