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Hi Coach Vanessa,
I love dreaming big about the future. I would even say that it's one of my biggest strengths. I can easily imagine people I want to meet, experiences I want to have, traveling, and more. So much so, that sometimes it already feels like I've lived my whole life before it has actually happened.
The problem is right now. I'm not living this dream life. My to do list seems to be growing no matter how many times I check something off of it. I end up feeling like the future I want so badly is further away than I once thought. I've tried organizational calendars, gratitude journals, visualization, and lots of other "self-help" tools but I keep finding myself back in the same rut - here, not there.
Help!
D.I.
***
Dear D.I.,
Ah, the grass is greener on the other side. Though it appears that the to do list has got you down, I assure you it has more to do with your perspective of "right now" rather than the items themselves. It's fun to visualize the future, especially when you are so good at it. You are ahead of the game if you know how to do that.
That being said, let's get to the real issue. You have an assumption that you can't have freedom (peace of mind, creativity, excitement, etc.) right now like you do in the future because your circumstances look different, because your to do list is growing, because the tools didn't work. I'd bet that on some level, nothing works now and everything works later.
The catch is, later/there/the future doesn't exist. It's always now. In 5 minutes or 5 years into the future, it'll be now to you then. It's time to get a little cozy and start loving up the right now. This way, it gets easier to live into/take action towards this future you want. More of your energy will be in cooperation with rather than resistance to your daily reality.
So, how do you shift from stuck to smooth sailing?
The good news is, if there was a way in, there's a way out. The key is to catch yourself. In the moment, when you find yourself feeling stuck, do something wacky to shake up the program you've been habitually running. Ideally, talk and move your body. For example, say "Goobly" while you wiggle around.
Patterns of thought get lodged in the body. It sounds like a silly new age theory. But think about it. Remember the times when you felt knots in your stomach or your throat tighten up when in a stressful situation? When a habitual unwelcome thought shows up "Man, I'm still here, not there. These to do lists are taking over my life," your body has a response. When you move the body, you move the thought. Wackiness helps speed up the process because it's so different than what's expected and known.
Once the pattern is interrupted, try out this random assortment of ideas to help you appreciate the right now just as much as you do the idyllic future:
- Brainstorm how what you are doing right now is directly and indirectly related to one of your future goals.
- Pretend your to do list is talking to you. Give each to do a voice of its own that has a tone/feeling, personality, and a funny accent (An over the top happy Australian nanny, for example).
- Imagine putting on special glasses that allow you to see everything from a new perspective, metaphorically or literally. What do you see now as you work?
Have fun and let me know how it's playing out!
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