Ask Coach Vanessa: I want balance, not perfection.

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Hi Vanessa,

 

I am married and have three young children ages 6, 4, and 2. I also invented a product and am running my business out of the home. I am constantly being torn in every direction----I just want balance not perfection.

 

Josephine Geraci

Founder & President

My Mom Knows Best, Inc.

***

Hi Josephine,
Ah, beyond the full plate, you've got all five courses going at once! You are on the right track with letting go of perfection. The next step: let go of balance. I can hear you right now, "But, that's what I want, that's why I'm writing you, coach lady." I can't help you attain what doesn't exist.

Balance is a myth.

There's always going to be some part of life that has more emphasis than others. The real issue at hand is that you feel torn in different directions and you'd like not to be.

The easiest way to get there from here is to start with giving yourself some props, a pat on the back, a treat, some uber acknowledgment. In order to actually appreciate your circumstances, take a step back from them, and see all that you are doing from a position of strength.

You are married. That in itself is an investment and accomplishment. Plus 3 children. An invention (you creative diva). And your own business. That tells me you are a go getter, someone actively interested in contributing and making a difference, a powerful woman.

Now, let's take a look at what you said "I am constantly being torn in every direction."

While I don't doubt that you feel this way, the statement itself is not true. Overemphasizing the issue only keeps you in a tailspin. Let's break it down. Being constantly torn in every direction is not possible. You wouldn't get anything done, at all, ever. If you keep repeating this to yourself and others, it only reinforces the feeling of torn and takes you further away from "balance".

The truth is you want the energy and groundedness to give your attention to the various aspects of your life. And you want to do so in a way that you are effective and supported.

How does this happen? By assessing what's currently taking place on a daily basis. Look at what you are doing, what would be ideal, and what would be realistic. It's time to objectively evaluate what's actually happening and decide to make some changes so your life works more smoothly.

Here are 3 suggestions to start with:

• As soon as you start to feel torn, stop what you are doing, even if just for a moment. If you can't physically stop, think "stop." This will literally stop the spin so you can go back to your life from a new starting place.
• When you feel a buildup of energy - from feeling, thinking, or doing - shake it off. Do a little shimmy. Bounce up and down. Then drink water. The movement stimulates the lymph (our toxic drain system) and the water flushes the toxins out of your system.
• Keep track of your time and activities. Take on a new identity as your own assistant. Add 2 minutes of you time at various spots throughout the day.

Thanks for writing in. Keep in touch and let us know how it goes.

Comments

[Good Vibe Coach]

I like the "two minutes of you time" recommendation, Vanessa! That's both do-able and incredibly helpful!

Thanks for a great article - I'm spreading the word about it!

Jeannette

[Delores]

I think balance is a myth as well. If you are "balanced" you are doing nothing. Look at a weight scale and you will be able to see what I mean. maybe the thing is that you can be all these things, but not at the same time. So, there has to be a way to be the person you need to be at the moment.

Also, if she started a business at home with kids still in the house, then she needs to outsource some of the stuff she is doing.