Ask Coach Vanessa: Blah, blah, bleh

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Dear Coach Vanessa,

I feel blah. I have heard countless gurus say that it's better to be positive and happy. Not feeling like that right now. I know it's seems a little extreme, but I feel like being in a bad mood ruins my life. Is that true? How do I get rid of feeling blah? It's bleh.

Signed,
Want to feel better

***

Hi Want to feel better,

I understand the preference for happiness over blah and bleh. Just so we're clear upfront, being in a bad mood does not ruin your life. Not letting yourself be in a bad mood ruins your life. Only kidding, this is the part where you laugh (part of the feeling better technique).

It's normal to have a range of feelings. They are transitory, coming and going according to whatever's going on around you and inside you. We sometimes get into trouble, or rather, caught in the illusion of being "stuck" when:

1) We are resistant to something, not liking the way it's happening, wishing it were different.
2) We are attached to something, thinking it should be a certain way and when it's not we blame "it" for the cause of our suffering.

There's nothing wrong with resistance or attachment. It's more about noticing how you're playing the game of life at the moment and from there, choosing what would be the next most supportive move you could make for yourself. The truth is, feeling good, positive, and happy have many health benefits. And, it's completely ok if you don't feel like that 24/7.

Allow yourself to be where you are by saying to yourself "I give myself permission to feel. My feelings change and they are safe to experience. Life is always supporting me." Seriously, try it. The sun is always shining in back of the clouds. You'll feel the warmth again soon.