Times, & I, are a changin'

I have a confession to make.

This past week has not been a sun-shiney one for me. Though I know it's normal to have a range of feelings, I prefer the happy with a huge helping of peaceful calm please. Was not happening. I felt both emotionally raw and closed down. I busted out the toolbox, journal, art, self-help books, went to nature, and did my best to be compassionate to myself. Just about nothing seemed to help. I've made it a point to search for the signs. There are affirmations of good stuff happening all around me daily (they are for you too). I saw them. I appreciated them. And...still stuck. At least it felt that way.

If there is one thing I've learned in all my years of practice being me, the energy always changes. Everything is fluid, in motion - thoughts, feelings, circumstances. But, boy, the story that I am stuck can be a binding one! Then it dawned on me, literally, like light shining on a corner that had been dark for so many years I hadn't even realized it existed. I've been lying to myself about a bunch of stuff. Reasons, stories, and excuses covering up old parts of me that still felt like a victim in life, like things were happening and I had no choice about them.

Just like the illusion of being stuck, these other little lies kept me happily, and unknowingly, bound to the life I was comfortable living. One that was based more in fear and a false sense of security, where I gave away my power to relationships, jobs, money or lack of it. All little lies that added up, and are now no longer congruent with who I am nor want to be in the world.

I'm sharing this with you here because I believe we are all being called to step forward in a new way right now. While the focus in the mainstream media is on systems that are breaking down, what's actually happening is we are getting loads of opportunities to participate in the creation of something new. It is already emerging, and we are playing our part. I'm advocating for playing our part purposefully, genuinely, creatively, with our light leading the way, not our fear.

I think the reason I felt so unhappy this week is because I was scared. Scared of the unknown, of change, of really letting go and letting my own life bloom. It's natural to want to feel safe and secure. I'll tell you this, though, true security comes from being honest with yourself, from having peace in your heart, from being yourself, and reaching out to others.

How do you start? I'll tell you what I did. I'd catch myself.  I'd hear a thought and my heart would reply "That's not true." I'd open my mouth to speak, my intuition would speak first "What do you really want to convey?" I'd notice I was holding my breath, and I would breathe. As I would breathe, my body posture went into a more natural alignment. When our whole being is in harmony with itself, it creates a concert with everything else around it. That's my version of the law of attraction.

Times are a changing. And so am I. Join me by honoring the voice inside of your own heart that says - Pay attention, you are worth it, it's possible, let me guide you.

Comments

[Carla Golden]

This is lovely, Vanessa. I don't think the full moon and the time change worked in our favor last week either - double doozy. Waking up in the dark is unnatural and can leave us feeling like, well, like we're waking up in the dark - in the unknown.

Sometime I think we need to fall off track occasionally in order for us to better see where our track lies.

Take care and be well, xo-Carla aka OneHealthyGirl.com