Living boldly with wild abandon

Something has gotten into my water. I've taken this redefining happiness for myself to a whole other level. Yes, I have become bold!

Dictionary.com defines bold as courageous and daring, not hesitating to break the rules of propriety, forward, beyond the limits of conventional thought or action, imaginative. Now, I've been called bold before by others, so the description isn't entirely new to me. What's different is that I am now choosing to live boldly as defined by my own standards not someone else's. 

What I loved about working with children (I did so for 8 years) is their wild abandon. While personalities vary, generally speaking, psychologically healthy kids do what feels good, ask for what they want, assume new people are friends, and express their emotions as they arise. They have not yet learned limiting behavior patterns and the variety of masks adults put on.

There's nothing wrong with habitual reaction or hiding yourself, and there's nothing wrong with you if you're someone who does that. If you picked up that habit, you did so in order to keep yourself feeling safe,  loved, and accepted. It was a needed defense mechanism - at the time - if the environment you were in didn't provide that.

What happens though, is, we take that pattern right into adulthood with us, not realizing it is at the crux of all the "problems" we experience. We trick ourselves into thinking that the issue is the money or the relationship or the job or the _____ (insert whatever you are struggling with). That issue then becomes the excuse for why we don't live boldly, why we think whatever we imagine to be, do, or have is not possible.

Many spend their whole lives without getting what, at its heart, is a very simple concept. When you realize it is now, not then, and you are safe, loved, and supported by the most important person in your life - YOU - you gain that wild abandon that's inherent to the human spirit, not just children. You become daring and bold. And in doing so, you automatically replace fear with intuition and pain with joy. It is a different way to live. We can all get "there." The way that journey happens is unique to each of us.

For me, it wasn't just my recent move that allowed this to happen. It was everything building up to that point. The relocation became a marker and a physical turning point to acknowledge the difference within me. It helped usher in a new kind of energy with which to live my life.

My way of living boldly includes:

✿ Dancing purposely out of rhythm whenever I feel like it. Yes, that means in public. It's quite entertaining to watch how people respond to this.

✿ Making new friends just because they look interesting to me and I feel intuitively drawn to them. Invited neighbors over, asked a few Twitter folks out to tea, started conversations with friendly faces near me at cafes, and complimented strangers in the grocery store (one of my favorite places to be).

✿ Honoring my emotions. Not stuffing. Not connecting them with the long line of past experiences that evoked similar emotions. Not pretending not to feel. Honoring. That means paying attention to what I'm feeling, articulating it for myself, and expressing it to others in a mindful and heart centered way. How many times have you choked down words and feelings? Not so good for any healthy being. 

What would living boldly look like for you? In what areas would you like to experience more wild abandon?

Comments

[Heather]

I'm a big fan of "A stranger is a friend you haven't met yet." and talk to people everywhere. Thank you for the encouragement to dance more, too!

[Christine Garvin]

Vanessa, thanks for this post. It came at just the right time. I'm going through a break-up right now, and have been working with how to approach it from a holistic, embodied perspective instead of the typical way I (and we, as a culture) approach it - with anger, blame, and resentment. When you write,

"When you realize it is now, not then, and you are safe, loved, and supported by the most important person in your life - YOU - you gain that wild abandon that's inherent to the human spirit, not just children"

I think you speak to the heart of what people are unable to see in break-ups: although they will undoubtedly be painful, they shouldn't close you off to the other person or the universe, because the support is there to move in the right direction for you. Trust in boldness.

Here's the "approach" I'm taking: http://www.holisticwithhumor.com/how-to-break-up-while-maintaining-integrity

[Vanessa Smith, Wellness Coach & Intuitive]

@Heather - Yes! Great philosophy. I'm going to envision more people having it.

@Christine Wise words. It's such a good question to ask ourselves, when anything comes to an end, relationship or otherwise, how can I honor where I'm at and what I'm feeling without getting lost in it? Your post is great and I'm will benefit many who wonder where to go from here when they are in break up mode.