Ok, we've covered steps 1 & 2 in how to solve your problems. Are you ready for step 3? I thought so! Here we go...
Step 3: Allow
Allow yourself to experience what you're experiencing. Sounds simple, right? In concept, definitely. In practice, not always. Why? There is a certain level of programming we pick up via our culture, community, and family upbringing that teaches us - consciously and unconsciously - to respond to life in a habitually resistant way.
It seems obvious, or at least logical, to resist what we don't like. The funny thing is we are just as good at blocking the incoming flow of all the "good stuff" too. We claim to have big dreams about love and romance, fulfilling work, financial abundance. Yet, when little hints and blessings show up at your door, or tap you on the shoulder, the first response is often to turn away from it. We convince ourselves it's not a match to what we really want. Because we are so trained to resist "what is" we only see the negative aspect of what shows up. Thus, creating a "problem" when it's really an opportunity.
Though resistance is tricky and takes many forms, here's a cheat sheet way of identifying it:
If you're in resistance to anything you'll feel like crap when you think about it.
Let me be clear, it's not the situation or circumstance good or bad that is causing you to feel low, it's your reaction (often habitual), your interpretation (of what you think it means), and your self judgment that make you feel like crap.
Nothing and no one, in and of itself, is inherently bad, wrong, or working against you. Some like to take this idea and twist it up into blame as if it's their fault for what's happening (as if that helps...it doesn't!). Here's the irony - it is and it isn't. Yes, you took part in creating what you're experiencing, but that is the liberation piece, to realize the power you have and then to use it wisely!
So, instead of playing the game of block, sabotage, resist, block, sabotage, resist, give it up and play the game of allow, let, open, receive. Repeat after me: Allow. Let. Open. Receive.
Like I said in Part 1 of this post, owning up to your part and taking responsbility for your choices, for your life is the most freeing thing you can do. Then, you are a slave to no one. Not your past. Not your future. Not your family. Not society. And certainly, no longer a slave or victim to your way of thinking, which is the most limiting aspect of any experience.
How do you allow?
By trusting.Trusting the timing of how, when, and if things turn out to your preference. Trusting there is a larger purpose at work (funny how we think we know it all, yeah right!), always guiding you to the best circumstance for you at any given moment in time.
By seeing things in context. Realize you are in partnership with life. You don't control everything, but you do have the power to responsibly direct and manage the flow of your energy and engagement with what's going on.
By creating. Imagine and focus on what it is you'd like to experience, see yourself graciously receiving it and most importantly embody the qualities (like kindness) and feelings (like relief, or gratitude) you'd like to experience as a result of having what you desire.
By relaxing. Yes, relax. How effective are you when you're all wound up? Plus, even if you were able to cross off all those to do's on your list while wound up, what do you think the outcome would be? I'll give you a hint. You always, always, always get a match of what's going on underneath the surface of what you're doing. That's how energy works. You may either (a) get what you want & still feel all crappy and wound up, or (b) don't get what you want & still feel all crappy and wound up. So, how about dropping the wound up bit, and get the match of relax? Personally, that's my preference.
I have many more thoughts on the topic of allowing. It is the basis of this website, my philosophy, and certainly my life practice (which I am much better at sometimes than others). "Let Your Life Bloom" is based on the understanding that life is blooming all the time. All the time. Our experience of whether that is so is purely dependent on the word "Let," meaning how much you allow yourself to experience the bloom.
Doesn't matter if the topic is health, work, romance, money, past, future, etc. All the good, support, and blessings are surrounding you always, in all ways, for all of us, no matter what the circumstances of our lives are. You think you would have set up a life of hardship for yourself without also calling in the appropriate support to help you along the way? Give your spirit more credit than that!
So, whether you are experiencing something "bad" or "good," if you allow yourself the room to let it be there, to not fight it, but to sit with it and realize it's not as scary and big as it appears. You then open the door to answers and knowing what right action to take. That's what we're after anyway, isn't it, to not feel stuck anymore?!
Where in your life would you like to experience more flow, openness, relaxation, trust?
In what ways are you willing to allow yourself this new experience of resolving your problems and truly letting your life bloom?
Stay tuned for Step 4...