Let Your Life Bloom

Feeling wound up?

Have you ever been in a tight spot, unsure of how to get out of it, and twisted up because of it? In that moment, how open were you to a friends advice? To coming up with solutions? To relaxing? If you're anything like me, or lots of others I know, or say, human, you might notice that being open isn't your strong suit in times of trouble.

Why?

Because being wound up is where it's at! Party time! Now we're getting somewhere!

That wasn't the answer a coach is supposed to give you, right?! Well, it's what you really wanted to hear, and it's the truth, so I might as well tell you, somebody has to!

Whenever we feel stuck, we get into this funny illusion that someone, something, or spirit is going to save us. Yet, it's the exact opposite of what we truly want. We don't want to be saved. We want to transcend our challenges on our own. We want to feel self-sufficient, empowered, and resilient. We want to know that we can rely on ourselves in any circumstance. It's a big part of why we create "problems" in the first place (read How to solve your problems - Part 1, Part 2, Part 3).

 

Benefits to being wound up:

It serves as a distraction. When you're wound up, you're on autopilot, habitually reacting to the drama in front of you. We all have different ways of resisting, blowing things out of proportion, blaming, explaining, denying. The list goes on. In fact, we can get quite creative with the whole thing. We have many well developed techniques to distract us from taking responsibility for our lives. And there are some folks that spend their whole lives in distraction, moving from drama to drama, not even realizing this way of being is serving them.

How would distraction be a benefit? It keeps you comfortable in your known world of dysfunction, validating a low sense of self-worth. Because here's the deal, when you decide to take responsibility for your life, you realize you are at the seat of creation for all you experience. That kind of freedom scares the crap out of folks. It's too open, possible,  limitless. We crave structure and freedom. It's up to us how we want to create that - through the distraction of drama or the responsbility of creation. Most of us are doing a bit of both.

 

It breeds clarity. Piece by piece, you find peace. Letting yourself be where you are, even if that place is "wound up," gives you more room to breathe. You're no longer pretending everything is OK when, for you, in that moment, it's not. Then, the funniest thing happens, when you can admit to yourself you are struggling and wound up, you start to relax. There's much power in being real and honest with yourself. It's downright liberating.

When you allow yourself to be where you are, you can start to see the whole picture, beyond the circumstances that "made you" feel wound up in the first place. Within that whole picture that you now have access to, are the very things you long for in every situation - an opportunity to simplify, get clear on what's really important, and choose wisely in a way that represents who you truly are.

 

It helps you become aware of and feel your feelings. Underneath being wound up is also hope, anger, sadness, faith, guilt, love, and a whole mixture of feelings. We are so trained to push through our pain and subsequently, ignore our emotions. It takes feeling wound up about something to really get our attention. Now, if you can learn how to address your feelings as they arise instead of creating wound up situations, I personally think that would be the easier approach. But, I'm a work in progress in this department too!

I don't want to walk away from this post without emphasizing this point:

Every single area of your life where you feel wound up is intricately linked with your health and sense of personal power. Money. Relationships. Work. Family. Housing. Your feelings are the direct link to and through your suffering. The best, most empowering, healthiest, transformational thing you can do for yourself and those around you is to find support to address your feelings. We are not taught how to do this in a healthy way in our culture. Instead, we see the shadow side of what happens when we suppress our feelings. It's time to bring light and change to this. Not by acting on the "wound up" but by appropriately feeling it and thus, releasing it so it no longer runs us.

 

Next time you feel wound up, even if that moment is now, do this:

★ Admit it.

★ Tell yourself it's ok to feel wound up.

★ Let yourself know that you can stay wound up as long as you want. There's no pressure to change or be different. 

★ Breathe. Stretch. Relax into feeling wound up. (Yes, this is a paradoxical statement, but it actually works if you allow yourself to be where you are without resistance or trying to change it to something else).

★ And when you're ready, now or 30 years into the future, cop to the fact that being wound up is choice you made - to help you feel your feelings, get clear, and, ultimately find empowerment through responsibility rather than distraction and drama.

Tune in to your spiritual channel (Part 5)

This post is dedicated to being a question answering (FAQs), fear addressing, vocabulary defining extravaganza.

Ready? Let's jump in...

This tuning in to my spiritual channel is a new game for me. What if I don't understand what's being conveyed? An image will come to me but I'm not sure how it's related to what I wanted to know about.

The truth is, you are channeling information all the time. It may appear to be a new game, but in reality, it's only a new way to think about the guidance you are always unconsciously tapping into. Just like life,  there can be a certain level of metaphor and teasing out of what something means. One way to go about this process is by asking yourself - What does this mean to me? What else do I associate with this? If you're still stumped, ask for a clearer and more obvious explanation as to the nature of what's coming through.

What if I don't like what I hear? Does that mean it's inaccurate? Should I ignore it?

Just because you have resistance to what you hear, doesn't mean it's false. The opposite is true too. Just because you love what you hear, doesn't mean it's 100% accurate.

There's truth in everything. What's most important to consider is if it's your truth. Generally, if you have a strong emotional reaction, yay or nay, there's some truth in it for you. It's up to you to discern what that truth is and how to move forward with integrating it into your life. Guidance is just that - there to guide you. It's ultimately up to you to make sense of it and then follow through by taking action.

What if something freaky shows up? Or I get a not so nice ghosty kind of vibe?

First, I'd say, set up some "rules" about what you're willing to allow in. This is a valuable exercise to do in both the physical and spiritual realm. How many times have you met someone that you didn't get the best feel around? What did you do about it? Hopefully, leave the scene. It's good to have clear boundaries, no matter what area of your life. You have every right to draw that line.

As far as my own rules go (this also used to be a fear of mine, and I also used to have a few yuck people in my life, so I had to get clear and make rules), this sums it up: I only connect with loving, light filled beings that are there in service of me realizing my potential. If something different shows up, I take a deep breath, remind myself that I'm safe, all is well, and anything less than benevolent leaves NOW or I exit stage left.

Sometimes, though, there may be an energy you sense that isn't warm and fuzzy, but does serve in helping you gain insight, wake up, and transform how you're thinking about something. Check in with yourself as to whether there is gold there for you or not. You'll know whether to stay and pay attention, or to go focus on something else.

What if the truth is I just feel scared as to what I'm opening up to? It's the unknown. Even if nothing freaky shows up, I'm still freaked out about this idea of tuning in to a spiritual channel or channeling. Thoughts?

Understandable. Sometimes the new and the unknown feels scary. I'd say that the majority of any fear stems from environmental conditioning. We pick up these "templates of belief" from the specific culture we are in and our family's ideology, which has been passed down just like other traditions, from generation to generation. Often, we don't even realize how much this programming influences who we are, what we believe, how we act in the world, and how we react to life. Not that it's bad. It is what it is. Something to be aware of, so we can learn how to discern our own truth again, and trust our natural instincts.

Words and phrases to know: Read, hit, directive, download, channel, energy, light family.

Read = A way to understand, assess, and evaluate energy/information via your intuitive channel. When I give Intuitive Readings, I am literally reading the energy around you and translating it so it makes sense to you.

Hit = Similar to a flash of insight. It has an instantaneous feel to it. Like, you may get a hit to go back to school, travel somewhere you've never been, or get in contact with someone.

Directive = It's an intuitive hit with a specific "take action on this" direction attached to it. It usually pops up when there is an important timing aspect coming in to play. For example, a friend of mine got a hit to put her house back on the market after she had taken it off because nothing had happened for months. The first day it was back on the market, it sold. Directives can relate to your own life or someone else's. Just like mentioned in Part 3, there will never ever be a directive to do harm.

Download = Chances are you've downloaded a pdf, mp3, word document, or other such bundled piece of information on your computer. This is a very similar experience except that the information you are downloading is coming from the spiritual world, through your intuitive channel, and onto paper or recording or image. Art can be downloaded. Books can be downloaded. Basically, it's a lot of information coming in at one time. Instead of a short hit of a word or phrase, we're talking about paragraphs and pages, concepts and theories. You get my drift.

Channel = This is referring to three things,

1. Your intuitive pipeline (where the information comes through)
2. What "station" or energy/being your are tuning into
3. The actual information coming through you

It's pretty easy to discern which of the three meanings applies once you see this word in the context of a sentence.

Energy = The currency of what we are on a very basic, fundamental level. Everything has a certain kind of energy and frequency/vibration to it. We all have the sense of when we "vibe" with someone or not. We all know what "good vibes" and "bad juju" feel like. That's energy. Your intuition is always working to read the energy to further help you clarify how to respond to whatever is in front of you. If you'd like to learn more about energy, check out the Get Clear Series.

Light family = As defined in Part 2 of this series, your light family is your spiritual posse. It could be made up of your spirit guides, your ancestors, your brothers from another mother (spiritually speaking), your angels. They are there specifically for you - as truth tellers, way showers, guidance clarifiers, energetic cheerleaders. Each one has a theme or function that will help you on your path. For example, you may have one that is your fitness guru. Or another that pours on love when you feel lonely. Whatever you need or want, it exists for you. Which leads to the last question...

This whole "Light family" concept sounds like a nice idea and all, but come on, is it really real?

My personal experience is that they are real. My professional experience with helping clients connect with their light families, based on their reaction and feedback, also indicate that they're real. But, I'm not here to convince. My intention with this whole series, and with anything I do, really, is to share my experience and my passions. If any part of it, resonates with you as truth or helps you in some way, that is wonderful!

I say, suspend disbelief, be open to the possibility that they are real, and see what happens. Even the placebo effect can produce amazing results!

♥

If you've enjoyed this series (one more post to go!), do check out the Get Clear energy & intuition program. It's work at your own pace with 9 recordings, summaries, activities, & more. There's also a FAQs section of it that addresses more energy & intuition related questions too. Plus a section on why I felt so compelled to put that program together. Good reads!

 

Tune in to your spiritual channel (Part 4)

We've covered the why, who, when and what of tuning into your spiritual channel. Now, let's rock the "How to." How exactly do you channel? Do you have to OM prior to tuning in?

Um, no.

While I'm proud of the new age license I hold, I don't chant. Though I heard that's what my neighbor thought I was doing when I was running my blender the other day.

But hey, if chanting gets you feeling all good, go for it. Some like to set the stage for tuning in, like having a treasured guest over for dinner. Light candles, play relaxing music, put on some sexy lingerie...wait, wrong post. Seriously though, just have fun with it. The less serious you are, the better.

Ok, back to some helpful how to tips...

This is where paying attention to how your intuition works comes in handy. If you want a refresher on some of the ways it does, do check out Connect to your intuition in 5 easy steps. Do you tend to hear information? See it? Sense it? Feel it physically? The same way you acces your intuition is the same way you tune in to your spiritual channel. In fact, it's your intuition that is the channel, or rather the pipeline, that enables you to tune in to different spiritual radio stations, so to speak.

The simplest way to summarize the how to is you ask a question (see part 3) and expect an answer. Different methods work for different people. Play around with it and see what works best for you. Below, you'll find a few ways to help you get started, give structure to this experience, and elicit the information that will serve you best:

Write down a dialogue

Similar to the Conversations with God books. Write your question. Write the answer. If the responses you hear are based in judgment, then you're talking with your ego/inner critic, not your spiritual family. Take a deep breath, trust that if this process works for others, it can work for you too. Then ask again.

Draw a comic strip

Start with stick figures with talking bubbles above their heads. Put Angel wings on the person that's responding to you. Or have the talking response to your question bubble coming out of a cloud you drew. Or the sun, moon, earth. You get my drift. Whatever can help you tap into the creative juice instead of the intellectual linear train of thought.

Make a picture video

Hop on over to Creative Commons and find some pics you like. You can pick a theme that you're working on or wanting to know more about. Or start by requesting, "Spirit, guide me in picking images that will demonstrate to me what I need to know right now." Throw them together in a video and watch how it magically conveys a theme. Ask your friends what they got out of it. Spirit speaks through their interpretations as well.

Create a collage, tell its story

Similar to above, but with magazines or postcards and the like, let the collage tell you its story. Art uses intuition to bypass the intellect. Your mind is important when used for its intended purpose. Instead of over-relying on it, tune in to your spiritual channel via art and image.

Speak it, record your voice

Imagine standing on a platform, delivering an impassioned speech. Know that whoever is in the audience not only loves you, but something in their soul longs to hear what you have to say. The message that is coming through you is filled with gems from your spiritual guidance team that is working on behalf of all of you. Let it flow out.

Do an interpretive dance

Fun, freeing, and fulfilling. Our bodies get bogged down by unresolved stuff. Ask your body to show you in movement what question it wants asked in order to facilitate healing. Interpret it's response. You'd be amazed at what comes, when you allow Spirit to literally, consciously, move through you.

Have someone interview you with your own questions or theirs

Just the act of brainstorming questions and having someone reflect them back to you is enough to cause a volcano of insights to erupt. Pretend you are Spirit answering those questions. Make up a name for this Spirit self that is coming through you with this blessed information.

♥

Let me know how it works out. What inspired you? Moved you emotionally? Surprised you? The process should be just as liberating as the outcome of receiving guidance and answers around what you've been curious about. Have at it!

Tune in to your spiritual channel (Part 3)

We've covered why it's important to tune in to your spiritual channel and who to listen to when you do. Let's go over the when and the what of this fun process. When do you do it? What do you ask? What can you expect?

When to ask

Short answer: Anytime.

Sometimes I feel more receptive when I wake up, or right before sleeping, in the shower, and while meditating. But it can happen in the grocery store, in the middle of a conversation, when brushing your teeth, at the beginning of a work meeting.

The most important thing to remember about the timing of a "download" is that it has its own timing.

Information shows up when you most need to hear it or share it. Sometimes that coincides with you asking questions and seeking out information. Sometimes not. Remember, this guidance is in partnership with a bigger spiritual aspect of yourself, in cahoots to lead you down the most supportive path.

What to ask

Short answer: Anything.

In playing around with asking different types of questions, I noticed that I get more sophisticated, higher level responses when I ask from a clear, empowered place. When I pull the victim card, "When is it ever going to get better?" "When is so and so going to change their attitude?" the responses I get goes something like this "It and they will change when you see it in a new way," or "Beloved, there is no answer to that question. Reframe and ask again."

I personally happen to like funny, sort of smarmy, blunt but kind responses so they (specifically, my light family) do tailor to that preference sometimes, like "You've got to be kidding, we are so not going to answer that, but we love you. NEXT."

Here are some questions to get you started:

♥ What is the most expansive way to see what's happening right now?

♥ How can I make peace with what I'm experiencing?

♥ As far as what's happening regarding ________, what do I need to know/understand/do that would create the most benevolent outcome for all?

♥ What are different ways, specific to me, that I can use to transform my fear about ________?

♥ Why am I choosing to feel this way, and what is a better use of my time?

♥ In what ways can I take responsibility for what I'm experiencing even though I feel like I want to blame this other person?

♥ What do I need to know right now?

These are similar questions that you may ask of yourself when you're looking to shift your perspective or start the process of change in your life. The difference is you precede the asking by making a request for the responses to come from your guides, your spiritual support team, your lightworking posse. This way, they know they are being called upon.

Of course, you can also ask about world events, the future, food, politics, environment, health, your body. Whatever floats your boat and is in service to the whole.

Hint: If it serves your potential, it's in service to the whole. If you're asking about celebrity gossip or feeling vengeful - sure, a way to spend your energy, but not serving your potential - you may not get a channeled response. And, there is NO WAY that you will ever be guided to hurt yourself or someone else. EVER. Just so that's clear.

Channeled information is always available to you. It's there to enhance and expand your understanding of what's happening in your reality. Your reality is different than someone else's. The more real you can get with this process, the easier it is to utilize this information as a catalyst to help your life be filled with ease, flow, love, and service. It's a helpful way to tap into the bigger picture without getting caught in the analysis paralysis processing trap that we can tend to do with our "stuff."

I hope that answers some of your questions and helps to demystify the process for you!

Stayed tuned for upcoming parts on the "how to" of tuning into your spiritual channel, and much more...

Tune in to your spiritual channel (Part 2)

Ok, so now you know why it's important to tune in to your spiritual channel. I'm guessing what you want to know next is - Who the heck is giving me the information? What exactly am I tuning into? Are you sure it's all good? No weird spiritual juju going on?

Here's what I can tell you - whether you're dealing with the physical world or the spiritual one, trust your gut. Just because it looks good, doesn't mean it's good for you. And just because you can't "see" it, doesn't mean it's bad for you. Feel it out. To question the source of information is valid and worthwhile, but most importantly, check in on the information itself to see if it's relevant for you to know. Use your intuition to discern (of upmost importance) whether you need to switch stations or not.

This was initially a question I really wanted to know the answer to myself.

For now, I have satisfied that desire by sticking to general guidelines of what I allow myself to have access to and tap into. Basically, information that I can trust, and know in my heart, has my best interest and highest service in mind.

Who to start chatting with and channeling from:

Your spiritual self

There is a place within you, around you, and beyond you (that still is you) where wisdom lies. You have access to it, first and foremost, because it is you. It's here to help you remember your specific path in this life.

Your light family and spirit guides

These are your homies on the other side. They have their own unique "personality" and function when it comes to being of support to you. Once you get to know them, and what they're there for, it becomes easier to know when to call on them for your specific needs. They help to remind you of who you are.

Angels and Archangels

Great beings of light, full of love, here to serve and uplift us, to remind us of home. They each have special functions as well, in service to all of humanity (whereas your light family have special functions related to you).

♥

That's who I conversate with and where I get my information from. I make sure that no matter what, I only listen and open up to those of the light. If you have any concerns or questions about that, just ask - Are you of the light? Nope. Close the door. No worries. You're safe. It's all good. Moving on.

There are also many guides out there (in physical form), that frequently channel a particular energy/being or a type of energy (Angels, for example). As the energy has gotten more intense, and the changes in the world much more swift, I have my "go to's" that immediately help me drop fear and get centered again.

Seriously, these things have saved my butt:

The teachings of Abraham

Doreen Virtue's work with Angels

Lightworkers

Akiane's Art

The Sedona Journal

Licia Berry (love how Spirit guides her in making sense out of wholeness and integration of the sacred feminine & masculine).

Orin & DaBen books

* My list is much longer. Consider this short one a good place to start. *

So, that's my spiritual cup of tea. For awhile, I would secretly go to new age bookstores, and discretely grab the latest Sedona Journal. I'd hint here and there within my posts about the importance of spirituality. But I had yet to come out of the closet to state how much this information anchors me. It does. And I'm grateful for it.

It may not be your choice of beverage. I'm cool with that. But if it is, and you've been looking for something to help you feel more grounded in these great and challenging times, and this works for you...then AWESOME!

To us all living our truths and inspiring each other in the process!

Tune in to your spiritual channel (Part 1)

Your intuition serves many purposes. It acts as a channel to access pertinent information about yourself, others, the world around you, the future, clarity on the past, (consciously) connects you to your spiritual family, and toasts your grain free bread.

The more I use mine in the daily moments of my life, the easier it is to tap into it when I'm up against any fear. But you know this, I wrote about it in many intuition posts, like "Your Intuition + Food = Happy Belly,"and  "Connect to your intuition in 5 easy steps." Plus it's the basis of the Get Clear series.

What I've discovered in the past year, through my own practice, is that you can use your intuition to channel much more than a yes or no, this way or that way. You can actually access multitudes of information - paragraphs and pages worth. Trust me! I have gone through notebooks upon notebooks quickly writing down all that is coming through, and it's just about time to share them with you.

Channeling isn't a new phenomenon. People have done it for eons. We all have spiritual license to do so, and you don't have to pay extra cable charges in order to tune in.

Essentially, channeling is a much more empowering way to gain understanding of your experience, and of life in general, than to take on the fear based "reality" that mass media perpetuates. In this day and age, we are realizing, and celebrating, that we are all wisdom holders, way showers, and truth tellers. Bless the Internet for being a venue to share, leveling out the playing field of how information gets distributed!

So much of what we all struggle with is when we give in to fear, to old limiting patterns passed down generationally, or when we strive to maintain the status quo. One size does not fit all! The time we are living in is one of profound individuality where we get to recognize our unique gifts WHILE simultaneously experiencing a deep connection with all of humanity.

Why not use your precious time and energy to focus on the larger picture of how we are connected, creative, and inherently cooperative beings? I guarantee if you did, your actions, thoughts, and feelings on a day to day basis would be different. And you'd feel more magical and alive in the process of it.

I have to admit, it wasn't until recently that I embraced the word channeling, or what I thought it entailed. We've been trained to freak out over the unknown spirit world. Would it be like Poltergeist? Or Whoopi Goldberg in Ghost? I was not fond at all of the idea of someone of something else coming into my body and taking over. Turns out, it's not like that at all. At least my experience isn't.

When I channel, it feels more like taking notes from a very eloquent teacher. I still feel like me. I don't feel like there's anything other than me, in me. It's just like tuning into a radio station when one of your favorite speakers is presenting. Dictation. Translation. And, always, always, specifically helpful to where I'm at in my life, at that moment. Helloooo! Very helpful.

What prompted me to write this post is:

1) The frequency in which these downloads keep coming is increasing. At first, I thought it was just for me. Then I began sharing them with a few close friends who also found them really helpful. It made me realize that I bet there's gems in there for you too. So, stay tuned, and I will present them in addition to the posts I write on coaching, holistic health, and intuition in general.

2) I firmly believe we all have this ability. I also believe that if you choose to tap into this, not only will it help bring light, love, and healing to you, but also to your circle of influence and the collective as a whole. The more we can be pioneers of a new way of being and birth the kind of world we do want to live in, the better off we all are. It's already happening anyway.

Jump on in, the waters are warm, your friends are here, and we're all playing Marco Polo, searching for the heart in each other, and doing our best to have a good time along the way!

The perspectives that changed my life

There are times when our view of reality seems so real, as if it's the only one that exists, THE TRUTH.

And it is true... for the person perceiving it. We are always unconsciously searching for the version of reality that validates our beliefs and perspectives about life.

One of the greatest gifts I got out of training as a coach, was understanding how deeply our perspectives shape our lives. Including my own. It's incredibly humbling and liberating to realize the only box that exists is the one you've put yourself in.

Each time I root around in my psyche, ask myself new kinds of questions, declare my openness to seeing a different way, I am met with an expanded version of reality. There have been so many eye opening, jaw dropping perspective shifts that I've gone through. I'm counting down 3 of them here, in hopes that you will see yourself in them, and find some relief from what you hadn't realized is holding you back.

The perspectives that changed my life:

3) There's nothing wrong. 

In our culture, we are bombarded with what's wrong, not working, and is a problem. I'm sure each of us could list a number of complaints to demonstrate that "truth." Trouble is, it gets us nowhere. We end up feeling powerless, fearful, and overwhelmed. That's not the kind of energy needed in order to actually "fix" the problems.

What if there's nothing wrong, at all, anywhere, ever? Crazy idea, right? What about war, hungry kids, corrupt governments, and 24-hour fear based media?

Holding the perspective that "Nothing's wrong" doesn't negate that there are things happening that you wish weren't. What it does is shift the focus to what you'd like to see, what you'd like to do, and how you'd like to create a new vision/reality for yourself and the world. Because the truth is, "reality" is not wrong or right, it just is. If you want something different, change it. You'll find the clarity, energy, and power to do so once you stop fighting against what's wrong. This was a biggee for me.

 

2) I "should" be exactly where I am.

Sure, we all know not to "should" on ourselves. Yet, how much time and energy do you do just that? Berating your choices, shoulda woulda coulda-ing, thinking you should be in a different job, relationship, economic status, physical shape. You are where you are. And guess what? It's the perfect place for you. Now, before you write me off for saying that, consider that the point of you being in whatever situation you're in is to give you the fuel and perspective to transform it.

When you drop your resistance and accept where you are, you begin to see the whole picture including the purpose of why you are where you are. Say to yourself "I should be exactly where I am." Try it out, a few times, be open to this new perspective, list all the reasons to support why you should be where you are (e.g. what you're getting out of it), then see what shifts.

 

1) And the number one perspective change is...

...found in February's newsletter. Sign up to your right and find out what it is!

 

What perspectives have changed your life?

Let me tell you about my day

This is the part where you either lean in excitedly or back away slowly.

Sure, everyone has a tough day now and then. Hopefully, you have some sparklers in there as well. On average though, are you on the complain train or appreciating the flow? It makes a huge difference for you, as well as the people around you, which direction you choose.

What do you do when you encounter a habitual complainer? Or you've become one?

No, really, I want to know.

I've encountered one of these folks recently, and have tried different approaches, including:

Friendly encouragement, "Things will look up soon."

Empathizing, "Sometimes there are just tough days."

Light joking, "Oh no! What terrible thing happened next?"

If I get real with myself, the truth is, I want her to stop. Not to be a jerk or anything, because I've had my share of tough days. But I'm talking whenever I interact with this person (who works at a place I frequent), it's like a disaster explodes from her mouth.

Do you ever feel like that? You still have compassion for the person and you would like them to experience some relief, but in the meantime, if they could just shut up, that would be preferable. It's why I love comedians, and my alter ego wants to be one, because you can say things like that. And you learn to laugh at yourself in the process.

Bless her. She's my teacher.

I still have a few tricks up my sleeve - change the energy, acceptance, don't get hooked - that I have yet to try. Perhaps she won't even give me the opportunity to use them if I change my expectations around her? Or I could stop choosing to be hooked. There's a concept! Ah, the simplicity and complexity of relationships!

Now, I'd like to hear from you Internet. What do you do with the emotional havoc dumpers? Do you respond differently depending on how connected you are with the person (relative, friend, coworker, stranger)? What have you found helpful and healing for these types of interactions?

 

Where's the recycling bin?

Oh yes I did just follow someone a few blocks to hand them back the empty soda can they threw onto the sidewalk. I was about a block behind the two teenage guys who did it, when I saw it happen. Whenever I witness something like this, I still get surprised. It never makes sense to me. And while I've learned to be more compassionate over the years in all of my interactions, I have to admit, I really wanted to throw the can at him.

I picked up my pace, carrying said can in hand. I imagined getting really close to him and just whopping his head with the can, like an abusive mother. Then I imagined throwing it from afar, and pretending it wasn't me. I also imagined hurtling it towards him and hiding behind a bush, so it would seem as if Gaia herself was saying - "Hey Mister, don't dump on me."

I could feel the rise of revenge feeding me like an adrenaline junkie. This was not the path I wanted to take. But it sure gave me momentary insight into how easy it is to engage in "war" with someone else if we're not conscious about our actions.

The truth is, I really believe that we all are much more capable and responsible and good then we let on to be. We forget. We fall asleep at the wheel of life. It's part of why I feel so driven to do what I do in the world. It wakes me up and is a catalyst for waking up others.

I want to live in the kind of world where we make conscious choices, are aware of our actions, and know that being alive is a great honor and therefore we act responsibly in accordance to that. That is my intention every moment, every day. And  when I fall asleep, as uncomfortable as some wake up calls can be, I'm grateful that they come along.

I wanted to be this kid's wake up call.

I wanted to be clear about my intention in following him.

I wanted to reflect back to him his own capability so he could take responsibility and choose differently in the future.

You know what's next right? No matter how much I'd like him to respond to me in a certain way, there was no guarantee he would do so. Have you noticed that? You might spend a lot of time imagining scenarios where people have certain responses to you. Then you loop on that - obsessing over someone else's reaction to your speaking up. I knew that would be a waste of my energy (as it is yours) and all I could do was speak my truth as best I could.

It wasn't pretty or perfect or well thought out as we think communication should be. This is why we often hold out on speaking up, waiting for the right time or the right words. There was no waiting here, it was either do something about it right now or drop it altogether. So, I did something.

It went like this:

Me: "Excuse me, I really don't mean to pick a fight, but…(I hold up the can)"

Him: "Oh, uh, my bad, I'm sorry, I'll take care of it… the right way"

Me: "Thank you."

Him: "Sure. Sorry."

Like I said, not perfect words, but the energy and intention was clean. He got it. So did I.

We have to stick up for each other. We have to hold each other to the standards that we are capable of living. We have to take responsibility for creating the kind of world we want to live in…right now, with our words and deeds, with our work and relationships, with our money and health, and most certainly with the way we treat the environment. That's the vision I hold. It's the reality I live in. Join me.

When your mind plays tricks on you

Have you ever had the sense that you were lying to yourself about something? That you were running an old habit, and even though it didn't seem true anymore, you find yourself thinking thoughts that once used to disable you? You say to yourself, "Wait, I thought I changed that. It's not true....but maybe it still is?"

It's not. Your mind is playing a trick on you.

Our hearts, and our bodies, know the truth of a situation. And in some ways, they are light years ahead of our minds. Check in with them before you start to believe what your mind is telling you to be true. Your intuition speaks loud and clear through your heart and body. It's up to us whether we choose to listen.

Tricky mind thoughts (also known as lies):

Incomplete "I went to the, well first, and then, wait, what was I talking about?"

Choice-less "I don't want to be in this job anymore, but I have to stay, there's nothing else out there."

Contradictory "I have hope, but I still think it's all going to fail."

Can you see how thinking this way would interrupt the happiness flow? Now, if you've read any of the posts in the Redefining Happiness series, you know that I'm on a quest to create a new understanding of what it means to be truly happy. I believe that happiness is more about inner peace than being swayed by trickster thoughts. Agree?

Your mind, like your fear, is an ally and teacher. Use it as such. Its goal is to bring attention to the dark places within you so you can then bring light to them. As you do so, you help your mind realize that it is safe and no longer needs to use lies or tricky thoughts to keep you closed off from the world.

Ready to remedy the tricky mind?

Here's one of the easiest and most obvious ways to do so - Call it out. State exactly what it's doing (hint: it's close to the title of this post), "My mind is playing tricks on me." It's a huge relief to hear the truth, like you can finally take a deep breath. Sometimes we mistakenly think that it's complicated to change ourselves. Also not true. Just a little shift, like the statement above, makes a big difference. Use it every time you spot a lie.

We are moving into a time where the shadow (the parts of ourselves we try to suppress) is being called forth to be integrated into the whole of who we are. Or in more elementary terms - where we can just be ourselves in the world, without the masks. We all want to be accepted for who we truly are. That process starts with doing it for ourselves, in the simplest of ways. It is the gateway to lasting happiness, change that sticks, and living a life that feels right to you.

Where in your life is your mind playing tricks on you? Call it out and liberate yourself by telling the truth.