Let Your Life Bloom

Let me tell you about my day

This is the part where you either lean in excitedly or back away slowly.

Sure, everyone has a tough day now and then. Hopefully, you have some sparklers in there as well. On average though, are you on the complain train or appreciating the flow? It makes a huge difference for you, as well as the people around you, which direction you choose.

What do you do when you encounter a habitual complainer? Or you've become one?

No, really, I want to know.

I've encountered one of these folks recently, and have tried different approaches, including:

Friendly encouragement, "Things will look up soon."

Empathizing, "Sometimes there are just tough days."

Light joking, "Oh no! What terrible thing happened next?"

If I get real with myself, the truth is, I want her to stop. Not to be a jerk or anything, because I've had my share of tough days. But I'm talking whenever I interact with this person (who works at a place I frequent), it's like a disaster explodes from her mouth.

Do you ever feel like that? You still have compassion for the person and you would like them to experience some relief, but in the meantime, if they could just shut up, that would be preferable. It's why I love comedians, and my alter ego wants to be one, because you can say things like that. And you learn to laugh at yourself in the process.

Bless her. She's my teacher.

I still have a few tricks up my sleeve - change the energy, acceptance, don't get hooked - that I have yet to try. Perhaps she won't even give me the opportunity to use them if I change my expectations around her? Or I could stop choosing to be hooked. There's a concept! Ah, the simplicity and complexity of relationships!

Now, I'd like to hear from you Internet. What do you do with the emotional havoc dumpers? Do you respond differently depending on how connected you are with the person (relative, friend, coworker, stranger)? What have you found helpful and healing for these types of interactions?

 

Yoohoo Earth Angels...

Do you feel like you have an important purpose in life? Like you're here for a reason, but you haven't figured out what it is, or might not be clear on the steps to get there. Or it seems strange to you that things are unusually hard, you keep scratching your head, thinking "I swear this seems like it could be easier." You might feel deeply affected by other people's energy or the environments you're in. You also spend more time than the average person dreaming about the kind of world you want to live in. Sound familiar?

In the past year, I've found myself more and more drawn to angel related books and art (be sure to check out the incredible art of this child prodigy Akiane). I've also become aware of the Angels presence hanging around me energetically as well as incarnated in physical form. You've met these folks before - bright lights, as if they have sparkles coming off of them. Some have a very calming, healing presence, like you just want to melt into one of their hugs.

Well, the most amazing development has been happening with my intuition. When I meet people, if they are incarnated angels, here for a very special reason, I can see their wings! I can see their whole path laid out right in front of them. In fact, as I step back a few million steps and look down upon the earth (which only takes a nanosecond in energy time), I see it surrounded with angels and lots of healing light.

I've been following my own gut feelings about who and where to share this, hesitant to be perceived as crazy. Then it hit me, how often do we hold ourselves back because we think others won't get us, will judge us, or won't like us? I thought about all the people I've come across, who were bold enough to take a stand for who they are and what they believed in, proudly bringing themselves to the world in full glory. The need to belong, to fit in, to make sense of your experience in relation to others is so strong. But I tell you, Earth Angel or not, there is no box big enough to contain the magnificence of you.

Knowing this, and feeling its truth in my own heart, how could I hide this new discovery?

I've slowly been dipping in my toes regarding how much I talk about energy, intuition, spirituality, and the like. Choosing my words carefully and purposely so as to not offend, especially when it comes to my online presence. Name your fear - I've probably had it. The crazy factor. The big brother factor. The freak attractor factor. The party trick factor (hey, show me your wings, hey what's in my future ms. psychic).

Then I went to Powells bookstore, losing myself in the metaphysical aisle for hours, and noticed something very interesting. There's a bazillion books out there on being intuitive. It seems everybody and their mother is now psychic. This is good news! But...what the heck was I hiding for?! Plus there is way weirder stuff out there than anything I've come across personally that I have chosen not to share for fear I would be seen as weird.

These past few months I've cut my webtime down significantly, it's good to take a breather. During this space, I felt my internal reserves building again. Layers were shed. And lots of self-inquiry took place, specifically around how I present myself and who I really want to be in the world.

I love holistic health, yet I hold back on sharing how much I use it, and how passionate I am about getting more people to be aware of it as a viable option.

I love coaching, and one of my greatest abilities is to tell the truth to people (don't we all want someone to just level with us?), yet I'd sometimes pad my truth with soft, fluffy compliments.

I love intuition, and am almost in constant conversation with my guides, reading the energy of every situation I find myself in and every person I interact with. It has been a life saver, literally, my whole life. Yet, most of the good stuff that I've experienced has filled notebooks upon notebooks with only my eyes gazing upon them.

There's a lot of validity in playing it smart, safe, and strategically. Yet, there comes a point when you're rooted enough to step out even further onto the branch, because isn't that where the fruit is? That time has come for me. I don't know exactly what it'll look like, as that's part of the game, but I do know that the timing is right.

Speaking of timing, we often forget that there's a finite amount of it in this life. Instead, we get seduced by the desire of fitting in or become paralyzed by the fear of conformity. I feel this stage passing for me. My mission is still the same - to inspire you to see who you really are, educate you on how to care for yourself holistically, and empower you to step into your own power, authentically and intuitively. Yet, this time, I plan to fulfill this mission with more of my own presence, knowing not only that I am safe to be myself but that it is required of me in order to experience any kind of long lasting inner peace and effectively do what I'm here to do.

Is it your time too? Are you hearing and heeding the call? Spread those wings Earth Angel. Fly.

Liberate yourself from...

What's holding you back? Bringing you down? Standing in the way of moving forward? And more importantly, why do you allow whatever it is, to grab a hold of you in such ways and keep you there?

It's a question I've been asking myself as of late. 

If you've come to the same conclusion I have, you may also realize the absurdity of asking these questions in the first place. The answer I've come to is...nothing. That's right. Nothing is holding me (or you) back. Nothing worth giving any energy to is bringing you down and keeping you there. Nothing is standing in the way of you moving forward. Nothing.

That's pretty funny, isn't it?!

I actually didn't think it was. It didn't strike me as absurd either when I first realized this. It felt overwhelming. And big. Way too open.

The conversation in my head went something like this:

Me: What do you mean I can do anything with my life?

Wiser me: I mean, you can do anything with your life.

Me: Anything?

Wiser me: Yup.

Me: Really?

Wiser me: Really.

Me: Like, you mean, anything I want to. You mean, all the things I've ever wanted to do and be and have and experience. All of it?

Wiser me: Yes.

Me: And nothing is standing in my way? Nothing ever was?

Wiser me: Nope.

Me: Well, why the heck would I have been fighting for what I want as if there was a big boulder there?

Wiser me: Does it matter? You're here now. And now you know. The field is wide open.

***

I didn't know what to do with that information. I felt dumbfounded. In resistance. Scared to believe it. Life seemed easier to manage within the confines of limited, self-created boundaries. I knew how far I could go, because I set up the finish line.

If there are no limits, what holds me in, keeps me connected, and guides my way on? 

It wasn't until I started changing the questions that I began to feel more equipped to charter this new land of freedom. To have gone through this (yet again) gives me a much deeper understanding of why people feel scared to change, to let go of control, to open up their lives to what is possible, even if they don't know what that looks like.

No matter how many times I've experienced grace, magic, miracles, synchronicity, and the like, I still feel surprised when "known" insights start settling into the cells of my body, animating my movement through and perception of the world.

What about you? What's calling out for liberation in your life?  You may have an intellectual understanding of freedom. Read books on it. Maybe even tasted it in the juiciness of the moment. But do you live it? Do you choose it?

Remember, nothing is holding you back and the only thing you are liberating yourself from is your own fear.

What has your guidance been telling you lately?

I seem to be on a trend! The last two Thursdays, I've focused on guidance. First on how to access it. Second on the different ways it can show up. Now, let's make it even more real. It's time to check in with your own guidance and take note of what it's been telling you.

Have the messages been loud and clear? Or more subtle? Pay attention to how the markers show up for you, as it will reinforce your ability to easily access your guidance and intuition when you need it. I almost always have a notebook on me to jot down flashes of insight, directions, intuitive hits, and messages that are both hidden and obvious guidance.

Sometimes the guidance shows up as a general philosophy, like a good reminder I needed to hear right at that moment. For example:

"It's coming together sooner than you think."

"It is time. It is there. You are ready."

"Trust it will all be fulfilled."

Or as a summary of what the hot topic of the moment is for me, like:

"Take note of all you've been drawn to lately. This is telling you something and rearranging your energy in a certain way so as to receive what is already set up for you."

"Watch yourself. If you slip into an old framework of desperation manifestation, catch it, correct it, move on."

Other times, the guidance comes as a specific direction:

"Leave the house now, walk down to the water, sit for approximately 10 minutes, bring some coconut water, a notepad, and the numbers book. Know all is well." (Yes, really.)

It also shows up to tell me what to eat, who to get in touch with, what place to visit, and on. Imagine having a team of best friends, always there in service of your best life, helping you to live and achieve the highest vision of yourself - that's your guidance.

Back in the day, before I truly trusted myself, my intuition, and the guidance I received, I constantly questioned whether what I heard was true or relevant or not just me trying to psych myself up. I began reading books where others recounted their own journey of rediscovering their guidance. I thought, "Hey, that sounds like the things I hear in my own head. I AM getting guidance!"

How often is it that we make things more complicated than they need to be? Whether you believe in a spirit world or not, your intuition or not, the power of your beliefs or not, the bottom line is - does it matter? As long as you are finding/hearing/sensing ways to improve your life so that you feel better and enjoy your experience more, I say go for that! Trust that the wisdom of life, in all its forms, is guiding you in all ways, always.

What has your guidance been telling you lately?

Many ways to wisdom: A short list of guidance wayshowers

Every so often I like to compile a list of how guidance shows up. It's a handy way to remember that we are getting guidance and wisdom all the time from both our internal and external environments. Like anything in life, it all boils down to what you pay attention to and how you act on it.

Personally, I prefer when things are easier, simpler, more creative and fun, and overall have a sense of lightness and love to it. Revisiting my guidance list is a way to tap into this way of living.

My guidance list:

My body
Look for places of ease and discomfort. Our bodies are always moving towards health and balance. If that's not what you're experiencing, there's a message for you in that.

My intuition
I'll say it a million times or more - it will always guide you to the best choice for you in any circumstance at any moment in time. You know it's true. Now, it's time to choose it. You're worth it.

People
Chances are you interact with people every day. Something they say or do catches your attention. Assume Spirit is speaking through them to offer you specific wisdom. How can you use that guidance to have an improved life experience?

Places
We move through different environments all the time. Home. Work. Store. Car. What do you pay attention to in the places you visit? Learn more about the power of place.

This is a short list! There's also books, movies, food, the work you do, the people you choose to spend time with. Basically, our whole life is a feedback loop. Some of us are programmed to see it as a negative one, confirming that we are stuck and victims in life. Again not true. Wake up and realize that it's all a positive feedback loop if you look at it that way.

Everything that happens- stuff you like and stuff you don't - points to the same end, you being the clearest, healthiest, most beautiful expression of you, you can.

We are always being shown the way. Choose it!

What else can you add to this list? How does guidance show up for you?

How to access guidance

Most people have a sense of when something is right or not. It shows up as an overall feeling to move toward or away from something, someplace, or someone. We call it intuition, a gut feeling. It's common knowledge that we all have this inborn sense.

What if you want detailed guidance? It is possible to get a more refined, clear, specific message tailored to you. In fact, it's easier than you think. And isn't that the ultimate irony of life, pretty much everything is easier than we think. That tricky mind!

So…how do you access guidance?

I've gathered together a few tips I've learned along the way that have helped me get crystal clear information on what I needed to know.

1) Ask
Ask yes or no questions. Ask specific to you questions. Ask category questions (health, work, money, etc.). Just ask! You are being heard and given answers. The only block to receiving guidance is the fear based lie of "This doesn't work." Stop that! The world needs your strength, not your habitual programming. If you fall back into fear, knock it off without guilt. Make the change, move on, stay open, and keep engaging in the process.

2) Notice repetitive thoughts
Pay attention to thoughts that are emotionally neutral (like ones telling you to go to a specific place, talk with a certain person, walk in a particular direction). Also notice the thoughts that give you energy, buoy you up. WRITE THEM DOWN. Keep a notebook dedicated to gathering the guidance (I have several).

If you have repetitive, negative, limiting thoughts that don't feel good to you, all that really is, is information trying to wake you up and choose a life that's more in alignment with who you are. Until you can use it in this way, ignore these types of thoughts. Hit select all, then delete. Just like a computer.

3) Trust that the information you receive is valid
We are getting guidance all the time. What's funny, often not in that ha ha way (though it can be pretty LOL when you think about it), is that we embody our fear as if its real, yet brush away true guidance because it's too simple and "not possible." Now that's wacky! You've got to change the lens you're looking through. I repeat, the guidance is all around.

How do you distinguish true, intuitive guidance from fear? In a nutshell, fear will make you feel like crap. Closed down, not trusting, heavy. There are a number of markers. With intuition, you may still have a sensation of feeling scared and at the same time you also have inner confidence that whatever you're intuiting is correct.

There are many more ways to distinguish intuition from fear as well as learn, or rather - remember, how to effectively ask for and receive guidance. This can be found in the article Connect to Your Intuition in 5 Easy Steps and it's the basis for the Get Clear Series. Do check them both out.

How do you access guidance? What techniques have been especially helpful for you?

Updates: Get healthy, get clear, watch your life bloom

Hello blog friends. I'm happy to announce that the Coach Vanessa site is now up! Yay. Hop on over and take a look. One of the newest additions that you'll find is the menu of services. You can now order up a single serving of a Get Healthy, Get Clear, or Watch Your Life Bloom session with me.

If you haven't figured it out yet, I do what I do because I love it. I love seeing the results of people feeling better about life - healthier, with a strong sense of clarity, and knowing more of what's possible. It's good stuff.

Integrative Wellness Works will continue to be up. How can it not?! It's the home of the Get Healthy program and the Get Clear series, plus more (just check out the menu bar above). That's my original baby. I'm also working on a few projects behind the scenes that have to do with the intuition-food connection, being an empowered health consumer, the magic of dreams, the importance of storytelling, helping other holistic health professionals spread their message online, and a few others I have up my sleeve.

Enjoy! Back to regular blogging soon.

Got health insurance?

Well, you can now add me to the growing list of people who were denied health insurance coverage. Now, it's personal.

I debated (internally) whether I would post this on my blog as I've generally liked to stay more on the educational, inspirational, and resource giving level. Recently though, I've had way more of a longing to bring my own walk of the talk into the game. To show behind the scenes of how I stay healthy and use my intuition.

So here we are, a personal account and a professional take on what it's like to truly take care of yourself in today's world. This is the first of many to blend these perspectives. Back to the health insurance...

I've gone for years without any, occasionally opting in when I worked for companies that offered group plans. My lack of insurance didn't stem from being anti-mainstream medicine. Ok, it did a little. Truth is, if it weren't for mainstream medicine, I wouldn't be alive. It saved my life many years ago. For that, I am very grateful.

In the past few months, I decided getting health insurance would be good for emergency purposes and as a back up plan for upcoming baby making time. After filling out extensive forms, waiting 6 weeks, having a long question answering session with health insurance reps, I was denied coverage. And ironically, if I had been approved, gotten pregnant after being approved, moved out of state (which is the plan in the next few months), I would not only no longer be covered by the health insurance but I would not be able to get any insurance in the new state because I'd have a pre-existing condition of being pregnant. Follow me on that?

Yeah, so we all know the health care system and the health insurance system is not healthy. It's a national hot topic and crisis. My story of being denied is common. I'm glad that's as ugly as it gets. Many suffer a far worse fate than coverage denial at the hands of what this system has turned into.

My intention in writing this post is not to elicit sympathy nor other grievances around what's not working. My intention is to acknowledge what's happening, and ask, from a personal and professional standpoint:

What can we do to care for ourselves? 

What would thriving and vibrant health look like for each one of us?

How can we create our own form of health insurance through easily accessible, natural, and non-invasive methods?

These questions and many more are ones I'll be answering for myself. Please join me, I'd love to hear what you're doing to take care of yourself, what holistic methods you know about, and your thoughts of how we can use what's broken to spur on solutions of a healthcare system - government sanctioned or not - that would work for all.

Key phrases to heal and restore health

There are certain phrases and quotes that when you hear them, you automatically take a deep breath. You also feel better and more relaxed, like you can finally let go of whatever was making you feel stuck - at least in that moment, if not for good.

Here are a few key phrases that always make me feel better:

"I accept where I am, knowing it's exactly what I need, and where I'm supposed to be."

Acceptance has been a huge learning for me. It still is. See, I like to be happy. To feel such intense appreciation for life that the hair stands up on my arms and I get goosebumps (my truth-o-meter) when I think about the things I'm grateful for. When I get into stuck places, or old stuff comes bubbling up, it is incredibly easy to go into resistance (judgment, fear, you name it). Saying this to myself helps me feel more peace in the moment.

"I am completely, totally responsible for everything I experience."

When I first read a variation of this affirmation somewhere else, boy o boy I really didn't like it. Then, I said it to myself, and my body felt like it melted into a big pile of relaxation. Intellectually, it makes sense. If I take credit for the good juju, why not take a look at how I'm playing a role in the things that I don't like as much. Always liberating, sometimes challenging.

"I love myself. I forgive myself. I set myself free."

This phrase was passed to me from a former coach of mine. It comes from A Course in Miracles. I had to massage this one out for awhile before it became second nature. My first thought was "Of course I love myself." Then I realized, that wasn't always true. Little did my conscious awareness know, I had a long list of grievances against myself, and sure enough, they were tying me up. It takes up a lot of energy and well-being to hold on to stuff. Time to let it go.

"There's a right timing to everything."

Speaking of time, I used to get so caught up (OK, sometimes I still do) in "creating my reality" that I would push, push, push myself to do things even when it didn't feel right. I was so attached to a certain outcome happening...on my watch. I have repeatedly learned and gotten the clear message that things happen if they're meant to, when they're supposed to, and when you're ready for it.

"This or something better."

How often have you taken the path of the worst possible outcome? Fear spins stories that can grip even the most grounded person. Train yourself to say this phrase and not only will your focus shift onto what's (positively) possible, you'll feel better and find it easier to take action toward what you want.

***

And on a humorous note, as I shared the title of this post with my husband, @GreenSmith, he shared his key phrases:

"Chihuahuas are my friend." "I am a potato pancake." He added a "Ping" at the end of each phrase to indicate a magic wand being waved. Then followed with, "Are you adding this to your article?!"

Yes!

What key phrases help you heal and restore health?

Remembering who you truly are

We are amazing beings, capable of so much greatness. Is that how you normally think of yourself? Or do you get caught in a loop thinking that your thoughts define you and your behavior is who you are? It's time to reclaim the grandness of ourselves.

That's the theme of the September Let Your Life Bloom™ newsletter (sign up to your right). Here's one of the tips from it:

Take stock
Sometimes we wear our past as war wounds, using it as an excuse for why we do what we do, why we need to avoid or run away, or why we can't do something new. We always have the choice to do it differently. It's time to see our past in a new light. We've been through a lot - in work, relationships, friends, family, money. We've seen a lot of movies, read books, most likely still know the words to the theme songs of TV shows that we watched as a kid rolling around in our heads (I belt out the tune to "The Facts of Life" when I least expect it).

All those experiences - all of them - shaped us into who we are today. There's always something to learn, understand, appreciate, and share about what we've gone through. If you had to lay it out on a timeline with the major influences highlighted, what are the themes? What are different ways of thinking about your experiences? Start to look at the totality of your life, what you've learned and how it's helped you clarify what you value. In doing so, you'll shed a layer, better integrate the past, and find peace with truly remembering who you are.

✿✿✿

I've mentioned before that I'm part of the Threshold Choir. Here's a one minute recording of the song "I am remembering" that we sang a few weeks back. It's a bit choppy at first, fyi (cell phone recording).

Always a powerful read, Marianne Williamson's memorable quote on remembering who we are...

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”