Let Your Life Bloom

Key phrases to heal and restore health

There are certain phrases and quotes that when you hear them, you automatically take a deep breath. You also feel better and more relaxed, like you can finally let go of whatever was making you feel stuck - at least in that moment, if not for good.

Here are a few key phrases that always make me feel better:

"I accept where I am, knowing it's exactly what I need, and where I'm supposed to be."

Acceptance has been a huge learning for me. It still is. See, I like to be happy. To feel such intense appreciation for life that the hair stands up on my arms and I get goosebumps (my truth-o-meter) when I think about the things I'm grateful for. When I get into stuck places, or old stuff comes bubbling up, it is incredibly easy to go into resistance (judgment, fear, you name it). Saying this to myself helps me feel more peace in the moment.

"I am completely, totally responsible for everything I experience."

When I first read a variation of this affirmation somewhere else, boy o boy I really didn't like it. Then, I said it to myself, and my body felt like it melted into a big pile of relaxation. Intellectually, it makes sense. If I take credit for the good juju, why not take a look at how I'm playing a role in the things that I don't like as much. Always liberating, sometimes challenging.

"I love myself. I forgive myself. I set myself free."

This phrase was passed to me from a former coach of mine. It comes from A Course in Miracles. I had to massage this one out for awhile before it became second nature. My first thought was "Of course I love myself." Then I realized, that wasn't always true. Little did my conscious awareness know, I had a long list of grievances against myself, and sure enough, they were tying me up. It takes up a lot of energy and well-being to hold on to stuff. Time to let it go.

"There's a right timing to everything."

Speaking of time, I used to get so caught up (OK, sometimes I still do) in "creating my reality" that I would push, push, push myself to do things even when it didn't feel right. I was so attached to a certain outcome happening...on my watch. I have repeatedly learned and gotten the clear message that things happen if they're meant to, when they're supposed to, and when you're ready for it.

"This or something better."

How often have you taken the path of the worst possible outcome? Fear spins stories that can grip even the most grounded person. Train yourself to say this phrase and not only will your focus shift onto what's (positively) possible, you'll feel better and find it easier to take action toward what you want.

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And on a humorous note, as I shared the title of this post with my husband, @GreenSmith, he shared his key phrases:

"Chihuahuas are my friend." "I am a potato pancake." He added a "Ping" at the end of each phrase to indicate a magic wand being waved. Then followed with, "Are you adding this to your article?!"

Yes!

What key phrases help you heal and restore health?

Remembering who you truly are

We are amazing beings, capable of so much greatness. Is that how you normally think of yourself? Or do you get caught in a loop thinking that your thoughts define you and your behavior is who you are? It's time to reclaim the grandness of ourselves.

That's the theme of the September Let Your Life Bloom™ newsletter (sign up to your right). Here's one of the tips from it:

Take stock
Sometimes we wear our past as war wounds, using it as an excuse for why we do what we do, why we need to avoid or run away, or why we can't do something new. We always have the choice to do it differently. It's time to see our past in a new light. We've been through a lot - in work, relationships, friends, family, money. We've seen a lot of movies, read books, most likely still know the words to the theme songs of TV shows that we watched as a kid rolling around in our heads (I belt out the tune to "The Facts of Life" when I least expect it).

All those experiences - all of them - shaped us into who we are today. There's always something to learn, understand, appreciate, and share about what we've gone through. If you had to lay it out on a timeline with the major influences highlighted, what are the themes? What are different ways of thinking about your experiences? Start to look at the totality of your life, what you've learned and how it's helped you clarify what you value. In doing so, you'll shed a layer, better integrate the past, and find peace with truly remembering who you are.

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I've mentioned before that I'm part of the Threshold Choir. Here's a one minute recording of the song "I am remembering" that we sang a few weeks back. It's a bit choppy at first, fyi (cell phone recording).

Always a powerful read, Marianne Williamson's memorable quote on remembering who we are...

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

The BS radar

Yesterday my mom asked me how I was doing, I responded with "I'm OK." She said, "That doesn't ring true for me." I looked at her blankly. She continued, "That's Marshall Rosenberg's NVC way of saying - I smell BS." She was right. I wasn't being honest with myself, or with her. It was like the calm sea masking a stormy undercurrent.

Ever wonder why it is that we don't tell ourselves the truth? I do. Some act like they don't know what's true for them. I say we always know what's true, our bodies know, as do our friends and family. We know by something feeling "off." It takes courage to bypass the BS, and follow your truth.

I jokingly said to my mom, "What if we had a BS radar above our head that would start flashing every time a lie appeared?" Truth is, we do. It's called our intuition. I see this all the time in the work that I do. It's incredibly handy to know when people aren't being honest with themselves.

I often wonder what our world would look like if we honored and lived our truths. I'm not talking about the in the moment judgments or habitual reactions that we can so easily succumb to. I'm referring to the truth in our hearts. The past few months, I've been catching myself in both little and big lies, and immediately stating "That's not true. Here's what is true for me right now..." It's a practice, for sure. One in which life only become richer and more genuine in the living of it.

Where do you need to tell yourself the truth? About your career? Relationships? Life dreams? Turn the volume up on your BS radar, listen to your heart, and get real. It only gets better from here.

Ask Coach Vanessa: A garden variety of questions

Hello again! It's been awhile since the "Ask Coach Vanessa" column has made an appearance. I recently had a handful of questions sent my way and thought I'd address them all here. For those unfamiliar with the column, here's a little blurb that sums it up:

* The Ask Coach Vanessa column helps you think in the box, outside the box, around the box, and without a box. You will get clarity, resources, a plan of action, and plain old feel better. Got a question or a scenario that you'd like some FREE coaching on? Click 'Email Me" on the bottom right. *

Onto the questions...

#1 - "How to find true life purpose" - C.B.

Great question! It's kind of like walking around looking for a treasure when the chest is sitting right in the middle of you. Here are 3 tips for finding your true life purpose:

✿ Assume you have already found your purpose and are living it. It may not look how you thought it would, but every experience, and how we feel about it, gives us clues and unveils more of our purpose. Essentially, each moment gives us the opportunity to learn and become more clear about who we are.

✿ Pay attention to what's showing up in your life. This includes repetitive thoughts and feelings, synchronicity, dream images, fantasies or visions of the future. Themes of your relationships, career choices, family dynamics. Ask yourself "If this experience was my life purpose talking to me, what is it saying, what would it like me to understand?"

✿ Ask yourself some more key questions like - What conversations do I keep returning to? What lights me up? What would I love to have happen and why? What is life asking of me? What would I like to contribute?

Have fun with it!

#2 - "Even with all the tools and information I have, I have issues thinking of myself as an expert so have a block in making my coaching business successful. I just can't see myself as a guru even with all the info I have and my ability to see what others need and assist them in getting it. Since I have issues getting past this block I feel like even though I have a talent for helping others get past their blocks I feel subpar. How do I get past this?" - T. C.

You're already helping yourself move past the block by acknowledging that it exists. That's the first step. Next, I would remind yourself that you're human. We all have stuff we're working on, and often times it's the very thing that we excel in when working with clients.

Who says you have to think of yourself as an expert or a guru? You are you. All you have to do is be the best you you can be and trust that it's enough. The mental spin we can all get ourselves into never seems to be solved by focusing on it. Let it be there. Once you accept that it's there, then get yourself into action, even if you're volunteer coaching and building your clientele that way. The action will shift your energy around it, as will acceptance that these feelings and current self-perception are part of your journey.

#3 - "Whats the reason for total numbness and pain 1/2 right side of my back? Blocked energy? vs pinched nerve? vs herniated disc?" -S.B.

Hmm, this one is a bit out of my expertise. It sounds like something a good chiropractor could address. Being a wellness coach though, I'd always suggest supporting your overall health nutritionally getting in some healthy fats to lubricate your insides and start the healing process.

#4 - "What is wellness to you?" - Q.C.

Ah, sometimes the simplest questions are the hardest to answer. Wellness to me is:

✿ Enjoying life, having fun, laughing, and breathing deeply

✿ Taking loving care of yourself in 8 key areas (listed here)

✿ Finding peace and acceptance with where one is at

✿ Going with and doing your part to direct the flow of life

✿ Having a strong community that you contribute to and feel supported by

✿ Feeling connected to the larger picture of life - nature, our spirituality, ancestors and future generations, the evolution of life itself. Knowing we are an essential part of an amazing adventure. 

You can also check out my 7 Basics of Health.

#5 - "What are the dates of the teleseminars? thanks so much!" - C.B.

The teleseminars she's referring to is the *free* Let Your Life Bloom series, which is 9 months long, with 27 guests, which you can learn more about here. They don't happen on a specific date where you call in. When you sign up, you get an email 1x/week with a link to the recording. You can register for that at the top right hand corner.

Thanks for all the questions. Send more my way, I love to answer them!

Remembering the influence of others

On Sunday, I attended a memorial for the mom of a dear friend that I've known for 20 years. She had passed unexpectedly in a car accident. The service was beautiful, a true celebration of her life and the many she touched. When I first heard the news, a wave of emotion rolled over me. Actually, that's not true. It was more like a pummeling. Memories of conversations, dinners, camping, run-in's at stores, and more flashed through my mind. I hadn't realized how much she had influenced my life and was a role model for me.

Mentally scroll through a list of those that you've known. What pops up when you think of them? What did you learn about yourself, and life, through them? How are you different as a result? What would you like to thank them for?

Taking stock of how you've always been supported - in getting clear, in knowing what's important, and in becoming more yourself - is healing and liberating. Who are you grateful for having known, and why?

It's time for radical collaboration

Are you used to thinking in terms of competition instead of collaboration? If you answered "Yes" to that, you're not alone. Take a look at our language, and you can easily see how competition is implicitly and explicitly woven into it:

"It's a dog eat dog world."

"Gotta step on someone's head to get ahead when you climb the ladder of success."

"There's only enough for one of us here, may the best man win."

Geez, talk about limited mental programming! What if there was enough for everyone (there is), success happened with every choice sans hurting another (it does, there's always the opportunity to learn - success!), and we aren't dogs wanting to attack each other, defending our domain (also true when you look through the lens of trust and transparency instead of fear). 

Here's a wild idea - What if we collaborated with our "competition" and were able to have an even bigger impact, benefitting everyone involved?

It's not a pie in the sky idea, it's happening, right now.

Last week, I had the pleasure of attending an event called Radical Collaboration at Temple (a green nightclub) in San Francisco. It was hosted by 3rd Whale, GenGreen, and Creative Citizen. These three companies would have been considered competition for each other, until they got together, assessed their strengths and needs and found they fit together nicely. Funny that!

This isn't a typical, old paradigm merger where "the best man wins" and one company buys out another. It's collaboration, partnership, conversation, lifting each other up. All guests of the event were encouraged to do the same, talking with as many as possible about what they can offer and what they're looking for. I had a fantastic time. That's what happens when you're open to the moment and authentically chatting it up with people.

What collaborations would you like to see happen? Which ones would you want to participate in?

Who are the characters in your story?

Do you ever feel reactionary or notice those who are? It could be easy to sit around in judgment of yourself or others. But that doesn't really feel good or empowering or like it's doing anything to move life in a positive, solution oriented direction. One of the easiest ways I've found to step out of the role of critic and into more of amusement is by looking at your life like a story book.

What are the main themes? What "types" of people and situations have you experienced more than once but in different packages?

Who are the characters that have been around for awhile? What about the fleeting ones? The ones that have had a profound impact?

What coincidences, synchronicity, or deja vu have you noticed? Funny how that old friend you ran into was in the same place at the same time, and it felt significant, huh?

If you had the power to write the outcome for the next year (you do), what would you write into your story?

Happiness is...

Every so often I like to make a happiness list. It's a good one to carry around in your back pocket. Even if you don't look at it, you know it's there.

Here's my list:

1) Watching my mom be enthusiastic

It should be bottled! She is so appreciative and joyous for lots of things that most of us take for granted - like getting a new cell phone or enjoying the way good food smells. It's fun to be around and is a great role model for living.

2) Coconut Bliss ice cream

This stuff truly makes me happy. It is the best ice cream I have ever tasted in my life. I've had dairy, soy, rice, goat, and almond based ice cream. Nothing beats Coconut Bliss. My top 3 favorites are Mint Galactica, Vanilla, and Cherry Almond Amaretto. Mmmm.

3) Playtime with Stella

That's one of my cats. Without fail, every night after I get out of the shower, she makes the craziest sounding meows, scrambles quickly onto the bed, and rolls from side to side on each corner. She then meows, sniffs, licks, and chews on my clean arm.

4) Window shopping at the natural health food store

In an alternate reality, I am a personal shopper. I love love love to shop and would always be the one my friends went to to help them pick out items when they shop. Years back, it used to be a bit of an issue, made me get a crazed look in my eye (I have photo booth proof from a long ago 8 hours in a mall shopping trip). I no longer shop like this, but do love a good health food store. I just like to look and learn and fantasize about the meals I'd put together, or the books I could read, or the little fair trade gifts I could decorate my place with. Exciting, huh?!

5) Having my best friend do my hair

No, I'm not 13. But I have to tell you there's something about having your friend do your hair that's both comforting and happiness inducing. I realized this recently when mine came to visit and she took over stylin' my do. Have a look.

What's on your happiness list?

What makes you feel part of a community?

No matter how much you might like spending time on your own, we all have a longing to be part of something bigger than ourselves. It's a place of belonging. Some of us are born into this atmosphere while others actively need to reach out and create it for themselves.

Dr. Dean Ornish, pioneer in reversing heart disease naturally, found that it's not only diet and exercise that matter in health, it's also love, support, and community. But you knew that on some level. Take a look at your experience, those times when you've surrounded yourself with even one person that is helpful to you, you felt better. When you feel better, you make healthier choices. Those choices then feed into both short and long term well-being. It's a domino effect.

We all have different ways that help us feel part of a community. Here are a few of mine:

♥ When someone smiles, asks how my day is going, and is genuinely interested in the answer. Yes, even the grocery store clerk.

♥ When I'm walking down the street and someone calls out my name.

♥ When driving, people in other cars let me go ahead of them or wave back to me as a thanks when I let them go ahead.

And that's just a starting point. There's so much more that affirms how connected and supported I am. Like I said before, it's all about relationships. How about you? What makes you feel part of a community?

Creating an authentic online presence

Earlier this week I made a page on my growing passion for social media and how to create an authentic online presence. I figure since today is the Talk to Me Thursdays theme, it would be perfect to share as a post too. Here it is, enjoy!

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Welcome! I'm glad you stopped by. Having been a big fan of social media, and of course, coaching I was thrilled to lead a class on the combination of those two at John F. Kennedy University. What a full circle moment to teach at the school where I got my graduate degree from!

For years, I've been a life coach, holistic health educator, and intuitive. Because of my hands on experience using social media to share what I'm passionate about and grow my business, I am now quickly turning into a social media consultant.

My interest and specialty is working with wellness practitioners, helping them get clear on their message, translate it into the online world, reach their target audience, and have a widespread positive impact. If this sounds like you, contact me for a free mini session and see how we can start working together. The world is waiting to hear your voice.

What you'll find below is the presentation used for the 10 hour class. Enjoy and connect with me online!

Creating an Authentic Online Presence

View more documents from Vanessa Smith.

(A quick heads up - When you click play, the audio will start, introducing the presentation. If you press the arrow to go the next slide before the audio is over, the audio will stop).

Coming soon:
www.CoachVanessa.com - The hub for what I offer.

www.BloomtimeConsulting.com - Social media for wellness practitioners, get clear and share your message.

You can find out more and visit me here:
Let Your Life Bloom
Blogging 5 days a week about holistic health, life coaching, intuition, and more.

Integrative Wellness Works
My coaching website with the 7 Basics of Health, Get Clear classes, Turning a New Leaf program, and the free Let Your Life Bloom teleseries.

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