Let Your Life Bloom

What you desire most

In all the years I've worked with people, interacted with people, heck, even just talked once with a stranger, the conversations always seem to circle back to one topic : What we desire most. Even underneath a complaint, is a strong desire for what you really want to occur. Regardless of the details, the hows, the fears, and the questioning, we all seem to desire: 

• Making a difference, seeing the impact our actions generate 
• Having a clear, palpable sense that we matter to others
• Feeling connected to a sense of purpose
• Experiencing love, fun, and "aliveness"

These desires involve our personality, but also extend beyond it. Realizing these desires are fundamental to a healthy mind, body, and soul. It's the kind of validation only you can give yourself, in the experience of it, that clear sensation of "Yes, this is what it means to be alive!" For some of us, we know what that is, and can easily fill in the blanks. For others, still trying to figure it out, life can feel a little disheartening, as if you're off the path, not yourself, not doing what you feel you're here to do.

The remedy? 

Intuition. Once you've got your lens tuned in to this, you'll start to notice signs and clues everywhere. You'll begin to see how things you once thought were random are, instead, completely connected. The intuitive thread is being woven through your life at all times, even when you think it's not. It's about paying attention in a different way, asking new kinds of questions, and learning how to decipher the intuitive roadmap to your health potential and purpose.

Sound intriguing? Good. 

That's where I come in. While I've been an infrequent blogger as of late (being a full time mama instead!), the details surrounding what I desire most are starting to fill themselves in, in new ways. As I continue to follow my intuition, my goal is to help you expand yours. Stay on the lookout for future posts on the health-intuition connection, the intuition imperative, the role intuition plays in healing, how intuition will rearrange your life in the most delightful of ways if you let it, and much more. 

What's your intuition been telling you lately? Follow it today, and watch your desires come to fruition!

 

A special you don't want to miss

Today is the last day of the February special offer!

2013 will be my last year working with individual clients. So, each month, I'll be offering different specials. February's offer is 50% the session cost, that means it's $75 for a one hour session instead of $150. Good deal, yes?!

Here are what sessions are like:

We focus in on what's most relevant at the moment, using tools in health, intuition, spirituality, and coaching to get you clean, clear, and most effectively where you want to go. It's a no BS, laugh, heal, cry, get stirred up, feel more capable and confident, kind of session loaded with resources to send you on your way.

* But don't let me convince you, let my previous clients do so in their happy client testimonials.

** Curious about how intuitive readings actually work? I've got lots more info here.

*** For more details on this month's special, including if we would be a good fit to work together, check out the February newsletter, How much love can you stand?

Because I am still a full time mama, spots are limited. If you want to reserve yours, paypal vanessa@letyourlifebloom.com and I'll get back to you within 2 business days. You've got until midnight tonight, PST, to set it up. Go!

Now that Ascension happened, can I have pizza?

For more tips on Ascension, check out my current newsletter. Curious about the real message of this season, including all you ever need to know, then click here.

Are you still here on planet earth? Did you make it through the much anticipated 12-21-12 date of Ascension/end of the world/beginning of the world/return of the divine feminine/once every 26,000 years galactic alignment/supposed apocalyptic mess we've been taught to fear?

Yes? Oh good. Me too.

There sure was a lot of build up and anticipation around this global and galactic event. No matter where you stand on the spiritual, religious, atheistic, or astrological side of the scale, I'm betting you were at least a little curious as to how this day would play out. What did you make up about what would happen? Did it come true? Now that the day itself has passed, what do you think is going to happen next?

All good questions, and certainly applicable to any area of our lives that we carry great expectations around. Whenever you anticipate change, it's easy to create all sorts of stories around how you think it's going to go down. Does what happened in your mind ever match the reality you experience? Do you lean more toward fear, anxiety, and worry or trust, confidence, and hope?

As it's been said plenty before, "How you do anything is how you do everything."

Traditionally, change hits us in our gut, bringing up doubt about our very survival. Whether it's a job, relationship, move, or the end of the world, we treat it all the same - as if it is the actual end of the world, questioning whether we will make it through. But we always do. As we did today.

I do believe something significant is shifting right now. I feel it in my body, my senses, and definitely in my intuition. My thoughts are changing. My emotions stabilizing. Just as this day annually is known as the return of the light (i.e. winter solstice), I too am finding the light return within me, and around me. Except amplified.

This collective process of a balance reestablishing itself by infusing our consciousness with more "light" has been going on for quite awhile now, and will continue to for years to come. Yes, there is still chaos, still work to be done, still great transformation taking place. From one perspective, it appears intense, crazy, out of control.

But look at the whole picture, as much of it as you can currently see, use your intuition to discern the truth, and actively play your role where you feel called to. What you'll notice is there is a swiftness and ease to the change. It's messy, but it's happening quicker!

We are being buoyed and supported by more than we can even comprehend. Every person is significant and is here on purpose for these times. It's just a matter of whether we feel connected to that awareness or not.

As much as I welcome this change, I too found myself wound up over how 12-21-12  would go. I felt anxious and excited, fearful and hopeful, clear and yet not, unsure of how to anticipate the unknown even though intuitively I felt like everything would be fine.

For me, it unexpectedly felt more ordinary than most of my days. I have to admit, I was a little disappointed. I thought I was ready to see angels and aliens, unicorns and triple rainbows, ready for the Galactic Federation to announce themselves, all weapons disintegrate, all people fed, clothed, and with a roof over their heads, all corporations, governments, healthcare systems instantaneously operating with the highest level of integrity, all pesticides, herbicides and the like vanishing without a trace, and every area of the earth restored to a pristine and harmonious balance between nature and its inhabitants. That's a short order, right?!

Oh, and I'd be able to eat pizza.

Yep. I love pizza. And I had hoped that Ascension would wipe out all of my food intolerances from this point forward. I mean, sure, I guess I can wait a little for global peace, but in the meantime, can I have a plate of lasagna and still feel good after I eat it?! As much as I love to eat healthy food, I can't help but fantasize about that which no longer works for my body - grains, grains, grains. Gah! In my version of heaven, I lay down to sleep at night between a quesadilla and a grilled cheese sandwich. I have fantasies of jumping up and down on a trampoline made of marshmallows while chanting "Bread and cheese, bread and cheese, if you please, please o please."

I'm getting off topic.

What I want to share with you is this:

Have no doubt today was significant. The world is indeed changing, as are you, whether you're aware of the subtle and grand shifts or not. We are, as a species, waking up to our connection to each other, our planet, and our spiritual roots. Allow yourself the opportunity and pleasure to think about change, and special events like today, in a way that empowers you instead of breaks you down. You have more control than you think over what you think, feel, say, and do. Your greatest ally is your intuition. Use it. Oh, and have fun. Party like it's 1999.

Again, if you want more thoughts and tips on Ascension, check out my latest newsletter.

Best wishes to you and yours, to all of us, from this day forward.

Birthing a new vision, a new you

What's the vision you have for your life? Does it match your daily reality? Ready to bridge the gap, birth a new vision, birth a new you? If yes, read on, and scroll down for the special offer. Or check it out at the bottom of my most recent newsletter, The Spiritual Lowdown.

Well hello! It's been a bit over a year since you last heard from me. I'm happy to be back on the scene with my new little one, who will be turning 1 this year on Thanksgiving. I can hear him laughing in the background right now. A lot to be grateful for.

I woke up today thinking about where I was last year at this time, taking stock of what's changed and what hasn't. Lots on both lists. What about you? What's your heart been telling you about the way you're living your life?

What's been lighting you up and what's been tearing you down?

Life communicates to us, and through us, all the time about whether we are pleased with the direction it has taken. Sometimes it's obvious which way to head next. Other times, not so much. So, we wait it out, riding the wave, hoping to get a clear clue on what lies ahead. In the process, we start to discover how much power we have to create the change we wish to experience. At least that's how it plays out in my own life. Would you like the same? To have a clear vision and the confidence to create it? 

First, let me tell you a story.

Last year, on this day, I was 4 days "overdue" for the birth of my baby. According to the timeframe of pregnancy, he was supposed to make his appearance on 11-11-11. Being a fan of numerology and spirituality, I was giddy about the magical due date. I went for a hearty hike in the forest that day, hoping he would show. Nope.

As each day passed, my excitement turned into anxiety. Then, I got food poisoning. A really bad case of it, so much so, I couldn't even swallow a teaspoon of water without throwing up, and had to be on an IV drip. Add some herbs, acupuncture, and homeopathy to make sure the cramping wouldn't kick me into labor.

This was not how I wanted or expected to bring my baby into the world. Thank goodness he didn't come that day, as my body was exhausted. The right timing for him? 11 days after his 11-11-11 due date. Still magic. But completely different than I thought it would be.

Things ever work out way differently than you plan? Yeah.

See, I had planned a home birth with a midwife, took the Yoga Way to Birth class, read Orgasmic Birth and Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, saw The Business of Being Born, and even created a Birth Vision box.
(see more pictures here)

In addition to being a rockstar at birthing with ease, my vision included an explosion of sparkles from my hooha, light emanating all around my baby, the midwife praising my prowess, angels singing, and rainbow unicorns. Ha! 

Instead, it was more typical of how mainstream media portrays a woman giving birth - something to be feared, the soon to be mom screaming her head off, cussing, and begging for drugs. That was me. There was no zen. I even forgot I was birthing! Yep. My midwife said "Vanessa, you've got to breathe for your baby." All I could think was "What baby? I'm dying here. Save me."

My homebirth quickly turned into a necessary c-section. If we hadn't chose to go to the hospital, one or both of us wouldn't be here. And boy, I'm sure glad we are!

My 39th birthday with baby!

 

This is what happens sometimes between vision and reality - there is a gap. A gap you didn't intend. One in which you are more prepared for than you probably realize. In that murky but golden water, you begin to see how resilient you really are. It's the paradox of life, we wish for certain experiences but they tend to have their own agenda, awakening within us both our shadow and our light, our challenges and strengths.

You want to know yourself? Pay attention to how you play the game of your life.  You want to change your circumstances? Learn from what you observe and apply that wisdom in new action. The opportunity to change is always waiting for you in the moment you're in now. Grab onto it! Get support! Live! Go!

Which leads me to the special offer...

You. Healthy. Strong. Clear. Confident. Living the change you envisioned for yourself.

Sound good?

Let me help. After a decade of working with folks creating change in their lives, I've learned a thing or two about what makes that task both simple and enjoyable. Your trusty intuition (and mine), a good foundation of self-love and healthy habits, and some butt kicking coaching by the goddess of inspiration herself (me!).

Here it is:

1 session for $125  ($25 discount)
5 sessions for $495 (buy 4, get 1 free)
10 sessions for $995 (buy 8, get 2 free)

Click on arrow to pick your option!

1 Session $125.00 USD 5 Sessions $495.00 USD 10 Sessions $995.00 USD

 

Here are what sessions are like

We  focus in on what's most relevant at the moment, using tools in health, intuition, spirituality, and coaching to get you clean, clear, and most effectively where you want to go. It's a no BS, laugh, heal, cry, get stirred up, feel more capable and confident, kind of session loaded with resources to send you on your way.

Here are testimonials of past clients, how to tell if we're a good fit, and a bit more about the type of work I do including how it benefits you. For more on how I work on the spiritual front click here, intuitively click here, health click here, and coaching click here.

This special offer is good through December 31, 2012. Once you register for the amount of sessions you'd like, they are valid to use until December 31, 2013. Use them weekly, monthly, whatever works for you. Or give them as gifts. I do have a limited number of these as my focus is still on being a mama. So, if you're ready to accelerate your life on all fronts, grab your spot now.

Looking forward to hearing from you!

Have a blessed Thanksgiving.

You are more supported than you know.

 

Explore and enjoy!

Hello subscribers, guests, and new visitors to the Let Your Life Bloom blog...

I am currently on an adventure/sabbatical also known as pregnancy/new mamahood. My first baby is due on the most magical date of 11-11-11 (yes, 4 days from today!). I'll be back sometime in 2013, with lots of new stories, resources, and inspiration to share. Plus I'm working on some behind the scenes projects, so stay tuned.

In the meantime, peruse this blog or any of my other ones (listed below), and you'll find lots of goodies.

Coach Vanessa

Intuitive Foodie

Storytelling Medicine

Integrative Wellness Works

 

Want to send well wishes? You can do so by using the Contact form, tweeting me, or dropping a note on my Facebook page.

Here's to a fabulous new year for all of us!

What the body wants

Before I became pregnant, I had a sense of awe and respect for my body. It's been through a lot. The more I learn about healing, what bodies are capable of, how they work, the more amazed I become.

I didn't always feel this way.

I, like many others, was programmed to believe in a top down approach to my body. To force it to do what I want it to, despite its signals telling me otherwise. Work when exhausted. Wake up when tired. Squeeze into tight outfits to be attractive, but not too tight as to send the wrong message. Put to do's as the priority over eating. Talk negatively about it, as if it somehow was in another room and couldn't hear my disregard.

Much has shifted in my life since I originally held this point of view. A few books worth of stories to be exact. Now, close to my 7th month of pregnancy, I have an even deeper awareness and great love for my body. It has taught me a lot. Supported me. Schooled me. Healed me. Helped me learn how to surrender and appreciate life, not just in theory, but in actuality, in the moment.

My body has given me very clear knowledge on what it wants and needs to be in optimal, thriving health.

What the body wants:

Love

For no reason. For every reason. To love something unconditionally, it becomes woven into the fabric of who you are. This is the very foundation from which all action should take place. It makes decisions simple. Ask yourself before you choose something - is this an act of loving my body or not? Your body is the gateway for your spirit, it allows you to experience life in physical form. Do you know what an incredible gift that is? Cherish the temple you live in. It's a sacred place, with you wherever you go.

Care

Nothing beats the basics. Allowing yourself to care for your body is one of the most gracious acts you can participate in. It's not as complicated as we make it out to be. Brush your teeth. Bathe yourself. Clothe yourself as best you can, appropriate to the elements. Stretch. Smile. The majority of what we do to care for ourselves is pretty simple and free, or close to it.

Touch

It's been well studied that babies do poorly without touch. The same is true of grown ups. When touched (in a way that feels comfortable and safe to us), we relax. We feel cared for and supported. We have a sense of connection. We feel understood and that we belong. No matter how wound up I am, when my husband simply puts his hand on my shoulder, I melt. Touch helps us to know that we are a valued human being, worthy of that kind of interaction with someone else. Sometimes that's what you need most.

Oxygen

How often do you unconsciously hold your breath? Whenever there is fear, or you feel scared, threatened in some way, we push away the exact thing we need to take us out of feeling stuck - oxygen. Without a full deep breath, it's harder to think clearly, make decisions effectively, or know how to keep ourselves safe. With breath, we oxygenate all the cells of the body so we know how to respond to what's in front of us. With breath, we are reminded of our capabilities and strength while also being able to easily access them. Check out A Life Worth Breathing and Conscious Breathing.

Movement

Bodies are meant to move. To experience strength in their core. To stretch and be flexible. To connect with and express their natural rhythms. To release built up energy. To allow the elements, emotions, and thoughts to move through. To express your own unique version of life through the body is a desire we all have. Becoming conscious of this creates the space for great healing and health to take place. It is the quickest way I know of to transform any situation in your life because with movement comes insight and clarity. Move, and you'll know what to do next.

Connection

We all want to belong, to feel cared for, to know we matter, to feel heard and understood, to laugh with others, to extend compassion and receive empathy. Connection with nature helps us realize our own inner nature. We are part of the natural world and are very much affected by it. Even noticing the simple difference with how you feel when the sun is out or not, helps to put life in perspective. According the latest findings on what cultivates happiness (based on The Happy Movie), all of them are connection based - social support, being of service to others, and being in nature. Make connection a priority and your life will change for the better.

Nourishment

What nourishes you? Gives you a strong sense of internal satisfaction? Our bodies need different things at different times. Eating isn't just about what you eat, it's how you eat, who you eat with, eating intuitively what's best for you in the moment. And nourishment isn't just about eating. It's what feeds your soul.What would nourish your soul right now?

Joy & Pleasure

We often swing from one side of the polarity to the other when it comes to joy and pleasure. We indulge in instant hedonistic gratification or delay our longing for it (until we finish that to do list, make money, retire, lose weight, etc.). It's this constant push and pull, fight or flight dynamic we engage in that we truly don't need to. Retrain yourself to see even the smallest joy. Give yourself permission to feel and experience pleasure without judgment.

To be listened to

Our bodies hold so much wisdom. They are always diligently working to maintain and restore balance. They integrate our actions, store our experiences, and are constantly communicating with us. When's the last time you listened? Asked? Notice where you feel the energy within your body flowing. Notice stagnation. Take a good look at yourself, at your face, at the clearness of your eyes, skin. The ease with which you move. Your body is talking to you. What's it saying? What are you going to do to honor that message?

♥

There's so much more I could add to this list! I can't encourage you enough to start paying attention to what your body wants. Honor those desires from a place of acknowledgment, regard, and love.

If you were to do one thing different today in relationship with your body, what would it be? How would your life change as a result? Visualize the snowball effect honoring your body creates.

 

What to do with good advice

You think I'm going to say "Take it," right? Or at the very least, consider it, and choose to do what feels right for you. Not today. Today, I say, turn the other cheek. Forget about it. Throw a tantrum. Flip it the bird. Stick your tongue out at it. Not at the person, mind you, but at the suggestion of doing what should be done.

There's lots of good advice out there. Everyone has an opinion or a specific perspective based on their experience, education, training. I'm full of it myself. But you know what, when I'm upset, the last thing I want to consider is what I know I should do. At that point, my focus is on trying to breathe through the ugly cry. The sobbing, whimpering, snotty, puffy face, body shaking ugly cry.

When's the last time you had the ugly cry?

Mine happened to be this morning. No self-help book was going to save my butt. No trick in my toolbox. No well-meaning advice from someone else who is or is not going through the same thing. My feelings were irrational, illogical, and ignored all evidence pointing to things going well. My cry came from getting real with myself. To admit my fears, as silly as they may seem to someone else. To whine about my impatience and frustration with how long the process of change seems to be. To dramatically question - will it ever come together?

This wasn't a low moment for me. It was one of my highest. Because I allowed myself to feel, to be real, to see the whole truth, and acknowlege what was under the surface trying to get my attention. Being that vulnerable takes practice. At least for me. Maybe for you too.

See, we've all got a lot going on, to varying degrees, underneath the surface of our daily living. Hopes, dreams, fears, old feelings we haven't addressed, habitual reactions, family and cultural programming. We are taught to suck it up, stuff it down, move through it, push, pull, contract, resist.

It's utterly, completely stressful and draining to pretend "It's all good," when you're really thinking, "This sucks, and I'm scared." We think that by admitting the whole truth to ourselves, we're going to sabotage our process. The opposite is true. It's one of the most liberating things you can do.

By admitting and owning up to how we really feel, what we're really thinking, how we're really doing, is such a huge, gigantic relief. Know what happens when you do otherwise? One or more of these things:

You get sick. Your body can only hold so much of your stress before it becomes severly out of balance. Often, we don't start paying attention until we have to.

You stop enjoying life. If all your energy is tied up in suppressing or pretending, you have less presence available to actually experience the good stuff. You literally can't see past your pain.

You complain, mindlessly, and incessantly. Have you ever known one of those folks or been one yourself? It's the same story over and over. They think they're being "real" because they're admitting their frustration. But the truth is, they're staying on the surface, not copping to their vulnerability or responsibility in what they're experiencing.

I say own it. Own it all.

Then use it - to free yourself, to foster compassion rather than advice for another, to pay it forward by being available to just listen when someone allows themselves to be that vulnerable in your presence. Use it by choosing to shift it instead of repeat it, if and when those fears surface again.

Make it good for something. That was my wish through my crumpled up kleenex. I said to myself, "I better get a good blog post out of these tears. My ugly cry is not in vain!"

So, go forth, and ugly cry away. You'll feel cleaner and clearer after admitting what's real for you. And much more open to any advice that comes your way!

Synchronicity, sustenance, and spiritual nods

Imagine for a moment, your life being filled with synchroncistic events, a true feeling of sustenance, and spiritual nods reconfirming what you know in your heart. Nice, yes? Yes.

This was my life yesterday.

It didn't start off with angels singing, feeling that great, or clear. What changed? 

1) I decided to let it go. Meaning, not be attached to how the day began or what kind of mood I was in. I chose to focus on other things, to not submit to complaining or repeating the story as if I needed to validate my misery by dumping my stuff on someone else. Because, in the whole scheme of things, really, it was just a funky mood, a not so great moment, and they pass, no big deal. I was more committed to staying open than to further creating drama.

2) I decided to do something different. Instead of sticking to the agenda of housecleaning and crossing things off a very extensive to do list, I left the house. Instead of going to one of my regular cafe hangouts to work, I drove clear across town to a whole new environment. By changing up the scenery, it literally changed the scenery in my thought process.

Once I chose to become more present with what was happening around me, rather than submit to habitual ways of dealing with my stuff, my day became filled with synchronicity, sustenance, and spiritual nods. Besides the thrill of experiencing all this, it was even more exciting to realize that these blessings weren't particular to the day. They happen all the time. For everyone. We've all had good days, where we feel in the flow, and we'd all like more of those, please. I'm here to tell you - they are there!

These blessings didn't show up because I was "good," or worked hard for them, or deserved them any more than someone else. In fact, they didn't even show up like some out of the blue miracle. The truth is, they were always there, waiting for me to notice them. Being open and doing something different created the space for me to do so.

But say I chose to stay in my own hood, would I have missed the opportunities that came my way? That's one perspective. More than likely, if I just do my part in staying open, different examples of synchronicity, sustenance, and spiritual nods would have taken place right where I was. They aren't location specific, they are me specific. And you specific. You've got your own version of this taking place in your life. Are you open to it?

Synchronicity - A meaningful to you unexpected but appreciated occurance. A sense of being in the right place at the right time. You feel jazzed and more alive when this happens, thinking, "What are the chances?! That was exactly what I needed."

Sustenance - Nourishment. Having your needs met. Feeling taken care of by external resources, as if you're being watched over and provided for. There's no sense of having to work for it, it's more of a given.

Spiritual nods - Whether in a moment of despair or complete faith, something comes along that feels like a cosmic smile, a universal high five. You feel an element of magic, timelessness, mystery, and bigness. It's like your version of reality expands as your personal path was confirmed by the Gods.

 So, what happened yesterday?

I go to the grocery store, still somewhat stuck in my head, and run into someone I know. They spend the next 20 minutes or so gabbing about what's not working in their lives, almost the same story as the last time I saw them months ago. While I felt for them, it was also completely obvious they were adding to their misery by how they were thinking about their circumstances. It was a great mirror to help me further let go of where I was doing the same thing, while also helping me realize just how much good stuff has happened. That conversation was exactly what I needed to hear to shift my perspective at the moment. Synchronicity. Thank you.

Next up, I order food. Two times in a row they cook it differently than I asked - rare versus well done. For some people, no biggee. For me, not going to work. I don't believe in being rude about what you want, but I do find it important to speak up. By this time, I'm pretty hungry. A new deli person was there now, completely agreed with me, and said "We need to set you up right. Pick anything you want off the menu and it's yours, free." Sustenance. Thank you.

Then over to a new cafe. You know that feeling when you see someone and you feel like you've met before but you know you haven't? That's what I was experiencing with the folks at the table across from me. We kept catching each others eye. I eavesdropped on their conversation. Sounded like it had to do with branding and marketing, an interest of mine, but I didn't think anything more of it.

After two of the guys left, I asked the one remaining what they were working on because some catchphrases caught my attention. Turns out the topic of conversation was around a health device used by holistic practitioners (namely chiropractors and naturopaths) to assess free radical damage. While this might not seem significant to you, it was HUGE for me. Especially what came after it.

The guy and I talked further about how Portland is a unique city in that it has a really integrative approach to health with what's available educationally and professionally. There's a chiropractic college, naturopathic college, chinese medicine school, midwifery school, dentistry school, medical school. This place is teeming with a brand new vision of what health means, how to achieve it, and the practical application of doing so. Do you know how exciting this is to me?! Very.

I had a chance to share my vision with this guy. "I'm working on a TV show that highlights the best of holistic health practices and tools. This device you're telling me about could be a perfect fit for my show. I'm still in the research phase of how this will all come together, but I'm feeling reinspired by our conversation."

I went on to share my background and more specifics of what I was looking to do. Not only was he super encouraging, he gave me the company's info, his contact info, and even a lead regarding TV show production that's also translatable to the web. This is a major spiritual nod, as I had been questioning what to do next and how to do it. It was a definitive "You are on the right path, keep on." Thank you.

Synchronicity, sustenance, and spiritual nods. Once you begin to notice them, you'll be delightfully surprised at how many there are! I would love to hear some of your examples of these. Do share...

Unexpected blessings

I'll admit, I've always had a hard time keeping a gratitude journal. Don't get me wrong, I like the concept. It seems like a great idea to keep your focus on what's going right, rather than habitually focusing on what's going wrong.

It's just that I'd start to write the same things over and over. While I was grateful for them, they began to lose their punch and meaning because I kept listing them. If only the repeated negative thoughts in my head lost charge like the repeated gratitude ones. Oh the irony!

I'd write things like, "I'm grateful for breathing," I'm grateful for the sun," "I'm grateful for my cats." All true, but this whole gratitude experiment felt a little on the boring side. I wondered how I could spice it up so it felt more genuine, more revealing of my actual day. How could I change my approach so I would actually feel grateful in the process of it?

I realized as I looked back on my day, I had trained myself to notice the same types of things. I wasn't looking for what was different, or what stood out. I had to change the lens I was looking through. So, instead, I set the dial to be on the lookout for "Unexpected blessings."

As I started to notice unexpected blessings in my life, I was continually surprised at how many there were! To think, they were always there, and I just hadn't paid attention to them! No matter how little or large the blessings were, as soon as I saw what was truly happening all around me, I felt big. Expansive. Open. Grateful. 

Yesterday, for example, I went to my local grocery store. Their tagline "The friendliest store in town," is straight up, 100% fact. I asked to sample a soup at the deli, but found out it wouldn't be ready for 30 minutes. I smiled and shrugged, said thanks anyway, and walked away. One of the other guys at the deli overheard the conversation, and walked after me.

He said "Miss (thank you thank you for not calling me Maam, I'm only 37 & do not like when folks approach me in that way), sorry the soup will take so long. If you're still here when it's up, or next time you come in, the soup is on us. You tell them I said so." Wow, thanks!

Since I was grocery shopping anyway, I decided to leisurely lengthen my stay at the store and hook up some free soup for dinner. At the half hour mark, I walked back over to the deli, told them of the offer for the free soup. A different guy asked, "Sounds good, what size would you like?"

What size would I like, are you kidding me? Well, geez, I'd love a quart, but do I dare ask? Is that taking advantage of a kindness extended or just being honest about what I want?

He looked at me patiently and said, "Really, you can have any size you want." It took me a quick second to rearrange my energy and graciously receive the abundance that was being bestowed upon me.

"Thanks! I'd love a quart," I wholeheartedly said.

"A quart it is!" he  replied back.

I was so happy I almost cried. I felt like a won the lottery. This was no $2.99 cup of soup. This was a $8.99 quarts worth. Hot diggity! 

UNEXPECTED BLESSINGS ROCK!!!

I can't emphasize enough how much the quality of my life has changed once I shifted the lens of what I look through as I go about my day.

Is it time to set your dial to the channel of unexpected blessings? Do so, and tell me what you see!

Feeling wound up?

Have you ever been in a tight spot, unsure of how to get out of it, and twisted up because of it? In that moment, how open were you to a friends advice? To coming up with solutions? To relaxing? If you're anything like me, or lots of others I know, or say, human, you might notice that being open isn't your strong suit in times of trouble.

Why?

Because being wound up is where it's at! Party time! Now we're getting somewhere!

That wasn't the answer a coach is supposed to give you, right?! Well, it's what you really wanted to hear, and it's the truth, so I might as well tell you, somebody has to!

Whenever we feel stuck, we get into this funny illusion that someone, something, or spirit is going to save us. Yet, it's the exact opposite of what we truly want. We don't want to be saved. We want to transcend our challenges on our own. We want to feel self-sufficient, empowered, and resilient. We want to know that we can rely on ourselves in any circumstance. It's a big part of why we create "problems" in the first place (read How to solve your problems - Part 1, Part 2, Part 3).

 

Benefits to being wound up:

It serves as a distraction. When you're wound up, you're on autopilot, habitually reacting to the drama in front of you. We all have different ways of resisting, blowing things out of proportion, blaming, explaining, denying. The list goes on. In fact, we can get quite creative with the whole thing. We have many well developed techniques to distract us from taking responsibility for our lives. And there are some folks that spend their whole lives in distraction, moving from drama to drama, not even realizing this way of being is serving them.

How would distraction be a benefit? It keeps you comfortable in your known world of dysfunction, validating a low sense of self-worth. Because here's the deal, when you decide to take responsibility for your life, you realize you are at the seat of creation for all you experience. That kind of freedom scares the crap out of folks. It's too open, possible,  limitless. We crave structure and freedom. It's up to us how we want to create that - through the distraction of drama or the responsbility of creation. Most of us are doing a bit of both.

 

It breeds clarity. Piece by piece, you find peace. Letting yourself be where you are, even if that place is "wound up," gives you more room to breathe. You're no longer pretending everything is OK when, for you, in that moment, it's not. Then, the funniest thing happens, when you can admit to yourself you are struggling and wound up, you start to relax. There's much power in being real and honest with yourself. It's downright liberating.

When you allow yourself to be where you are, you can start to see the whole picture, beyond the circumstances that "made you" feel wound up in the first place. Within that whole picture that you now have access to, are the very things you long for in every situation - an opportunity to simplify, get clear on what's really important, and choose wisely in a way that represents who you truly are.

 

It helps you become aware of and feel your feelings. Underneath being wound up is also hope, anger, sadness, faith, guilt, love, and a whole mixture of feelings. We are so trained to push through our pain and subsequently, ignore our emotions. It takes feeling wound up about something to really get our attention. Now, if you can learn how to address your feelings as they arise instead of creating wound up situations, I personally think that would be the easier approach. But, I'm a work in progress in this department too!

I don't want to walk away from this post without emphasizing this point:

Every single area of your life where you feel wound up is intricately linked with your health and sense of personal power. Money. Relationships. Work. Family. Housing. Your feelings are the direct link to and through your suffering. The best, most empowering, healthiest, transformational thing you can do for yourself and those around you is to find support to address your feelings. We are not taught how to do this in a healthy way in our culture. Instead, we see the shadow side of what happens when we suppress our feelings. It's time to bring light and change to this. Not by acting on the "wound up" but by appropriately feeling it and thus, releasing it so it no longer runs us.

 

Next time you feel wound up, even if that moment is now, do this:

★ Admit it.

★ Tell yourself it's ok to feel wound up.

★ Let yourself know that you can stay wound up as long as you want. There's no pressure to change or be different. 

★ Breathe. Stretch. Relax into feeling wound up. (Yes, this is a paradoxical statement, but it actually works if you allow yourself to be where you are without resistance or trying to change it to something else).

★ And when you're ready, now or 30 years into the future, cop to the fact that being wound up is choice you made - to help you feel your feelings, get clear, and, ultimately find empowerment through responsibility rather than distraction and drama.